Tiffin Tales 106

Hola…

Hope the weather and your life is treating you fair enough. If by any chance you follow my blog you would know I mostly write about random things of life. There are many phases of life and a person like me with minimalistic guidance learns every single day. Not everything can be found on internet but life’s lessons has taught me manifold which I am not diving into. 

Today I am not going discuss about my life or my challenges or my perspective about life. It’s been quite some time that I have been living offshore and in these years I have come across many people with reams of emotions and personalities. Almost everyone has had left some impression on my mind which I browse through periodically. This time I am going to discuss about a lady who in my mind is an ‘iron lady’. 

Okay, so it goes like this…..When we moved to this new place and I was a complete out-of-stater, things were onerous. I thought so, perhaps. I was a bit skeptical because my child was going to start full day school and sending by bus was a new concept for me too. Previously I was at his service. Now all the school buses are yellow and it was mystifying for me to an extent. Just like my child my apprehensions settled down too within a week. Now there was yellow bus which used to stop next to my building and only child used to get down and before I could see properly she would enter the building with ‘help’ from her mother. This continued for weeks rolling into months. Gradually I got familiar with other families and realized that she was a specially abled child who was ‘extremely sensitive’ to her surroundings. She is so sensitive that her room has no toys, very dim lights, rarely any visitors and her anger frustration all over the place. 

With time I became more curious to talk to her mother. I wanted to talk not to lend any sympathy but my simple curiosity made me approach her. I could sense that the mother was avoiding me. She overlooked my smile or simply refused to make any eye contact even though there wouldn’t be anyone else on the road. I tried a bit more and on one fine sunny day we exchanged smiles followed by small talks and discussing random things like weather and ticket prices. Hey eyes would show signs of stress and pain. I took time and didn’t want to dive into discussing about her daughter. She surprised me when she said that she was expecting a second child. My mind could not process a lot of questions and emotions together at the same time. I congratulated her and left. A few days followed and I kept enquiring about her health and one fine day she broke down. I tried to pacify her thinking these could have been just hormones playing games. I offered her to come to my home and surprisingly she obliged. I was extra cautious to avoid talking about her daughter but she completely broke down. She confessed her fears. Her daughter who seemed different within a few days of birth. The anxious parents sensed and tried all possible medical help within their limitations. The doctors declared that her growth would be really slow and very different. She would have different pattern of eating, sleeping, socializing (there isn’t any yet) and most of her life she would have assisted living. Even though I had heard about her daughter but coming from a mom who is expecting another almost swept me off my feet. This mother didn’t care for anything else and she lived every moment for her daughter. Her only aim was to make her daughter independent where she is in a position to take care of herself. Her daughter speaks a few words and her mother works tirelessly on her vocabulary building as well. The exhausted pregnant mother never requested her husband to make any delicacy or bring any food from outside. She feared if her daughter demanded and if that food worsened her health. The neighbors have been admissibly good enough to share food and offer help. Her in laws have maintained distance when they discovered the situation. The lady has lost her parents too. I almost went numb….Her daughter used to go to special school and when she reached third trimester she slowed down her school too. We couldn’t go to her home fearing not to disturb her daughter. Soon she gave birth to another daughter. The anxious parents ran a series of tests to ease their minds. It was indeed a test of their perseverance and after a few moths the baby was declared fine. I can add more lines to this story but I am keeping it short.

I have seen this lady all these years. She took care of a special child, still happily doing, swimmed through her pregnancy, gave birth and now raising both of them now. They cannot travel far, go for movies. Parks are the only indulgences for them. This lady has almost forgotten how to put on make up, attend social functions, visit her relatives or go for shopping. She begs for extra time from the universe. Her tears have dried up long time back and she bravely holds on to her smile. Her husband has been her back bone all throughout. Her husband salutes her almost every other day and considers her to be a blessing in his life.

Not just this women’s day but every day I look up to her and consider to be women’s day. My everyday problems fall flat in front of her challenges. With folded hands I pray for her and me. Strength for her and patience for me :)

Tiffin Tales 105

Hello everyone,

We are all towards the mid of February and I am sure the winters have toned down a bit. The days have started to get longer a bit. The sun rays appear a few minutes earlier and stays longer. These days I smell a bit of spring too.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day and no this post isn't about to how to celebrate the day. I am sure by now most of them have planned a bit to celebrate in their own small way. Now what makes me ponder is the fact why do we need a day to express and celebrate. Most of us have that special one in our lives with whom we plan to celebrate. Of course there are ones who have't met or going through a lean phase or do not believe in this concept at all. But to set one day to celebrate love still fills my mind with tons of questions.

Love is a very generic word and it doesn't define just one relation. Love comes form in many forms and all we need just a heart to feel it. We love our families, friends, movie characters and many people who touch our lives in some way.

I remember in my growing years, I was so fond of an actor that I refused to believe that his character in a movie passed away. I loved him a lot, and still do but at that point the tears just refused to stop. Ha ha. I still watch his movies but now with lots of love and warmth. While love can give strength sometimes it makes debilitated too. Many many moons back when I used to go to school there was a grandpa who lived close to our neighborhood. He wasn't in our line of houses but somewhat close by and we had to cross his house when I started going to college. During my school days we didn't meet that often but the route during college used to make me meet him often. He lived with his family of son, daughter-in-law and grand children. Most of the time he used to be seen sitting on his easy chair in the front of his house and talking to passer by. As I became regular, he used to wave at me and soon it became a regular thing. I used to purposely look at the direction of their home to wave at him. A few months I started to talk a few words too. I used to enquire about his health and his medicines. I remember he had the broadest smile. I never saw my grandfather and I grew fond of him. He saw me through my graduation too and soon I had to take a different route of life and destination. A year later I got the news that he passed away and the more surprising fact that I came to know that he couldn't hear well. He used to wave, smile and always say that 'I am fine, all is well'. Somehow that day I cried a lot too. We had no blood relation still I adored him and perhaps loved him too.

Love is both the most delicate and strongest of all feelings ever felt. It gives so much fortitude to the mind and heart that we ourselves get stupefied of our capabilities. Celebrate love in whatever form it may come. Do not restrict your love to human beings only. Animals understand the language of love too. Shower them with love too. They may not give you any flowers but they will give their hearts for sure.

I have no plans of celebrating this day but I am planning to bake a cake that goes well with tea. Now let me find some easy peasy cake recipe while you guys enjoy the day.

Spread love

Tiffin Tales 104

Hola...

I hope you all are doing great in the second month of the year. The first month just whisked by. Most of the people in living in warmer climates like winters so December January are their most loved months. We all different reasons to like or not like the winters. The ones who face the extreme wind chill wait for the warmer days while the ones who get almost roasted in summers wait to chill in the winters. Irony right?

Wedding seasons mostly take place in winters. The bride in her heavy attire can keep her sanity mostly during the winters. The warmth of the weather and the freshness of makeup are all adored by the bride who looks forward to the special day of her life. We all associate our weddings with a certain color. As I am Bengali we opt for red, maroon or any deep color of that matter. Even if we are the invitees we opt for radiant colors.

Sheila is a woman of mid thirties living her life with her husband and children. She has cordial relationship with her in laws and visits them frequently. Last weekend they had a marriage reception to attend and the kids were excited that their grandparents would join them too. Sheila had saved a saree for quite sometime to be worn at any special occasion. Even though there was no famine of invitations all round the year yet the saree somehow got pushed away amidst the pile. Sheila missed it from her memory and the saree forgot her buyer. As she was trying to dig out something for her daughter this saree popped out. She was both surprised and excited for different reasons. First she found something ready to wear without rasping her brain and secondly this was her favorite color. The saree was a white chikankari with other embellishments which truly was a beauty to be worn at any function.

As normally as it happens, they all got decked up but her mother in law was irked by her choice of color. She sternly said married women should have some color in their dress and not wear plain white. Although Sheila was complemented by her maid who was trying to wrap up the newspaper on the floor and the lady who had come to pick up clothes for laundry Sheila was a bit taken back. Does color define your marital status? Does wearing white bring bad omen? She was confused but the hurried husband man declared that there was no time to change. Sheila was looking gorgeous, her husband whispered too but her smile or glow was robbed off before attending the party.

I am thinking the same. White signifies peace, white signifies purity, white calms the mind and white in my community is associated with mournings too. White lilies are gorgeous but any family wearing wearing white signals death in the family. We worship with white flowers but widows used to wear white too. What exactly does white signify? Still thinking purity? White protects from summer rays and white soothes too. Just like Sheila I too understand that any color added with white gives a more balanced look but simply wearing white is elegant too.

I hope someday like Sheila, I too, find more reasons of wearing white. It will calm not only my mind but others thoughts too.

Since this is a tiffin tale its customary to add a line about my kids lunch boxes too. This morning I packed vegetable pasta  in simple marinara sauce with a dash of grated cheese. I am sure that was gobbled soon. Enjoy your day..Catch you soon