Tiffin Tales 107

Hola….

Hurray, for us because these days we are awakened by the chirping of the birds. The days are getting longer and the migratory birds are flying back to us. The high winds do bother us yet we celebrate the fact that the temperatures are slightly higher where we do not shiver.

We all are currently gripped by fear, fear of a virus and the world has named it ‘corona virus’. The virus is rapidly spreading and has shaken the entire world from its core. Everyday, every minute this pandemic is constantly reminding how strong our nature is. We are home confined, we are maintaining social distances and taking every possible precautionary step to ward this virus away.

As we slowly crawl into our third week of social isolation, a lot of things cut across my mind. How a small virus has entirely disrupted our entire lives, stopped many industries, paralyzed a lot of daily activities and to an extent has frozen our thoughts too.

We human beings have thought and considered ourselves to be the finest creation of nature and now nature teaches us back to ponder over this again and again. The gamut of nature is so strong and authoritative and makes us feel so minuscule in this hour of global crisis.

All of a sudden we all have become global citizens and can somewhat feel the pain of fellow human beings. We are taking this pandemic to be a universal problem and trying to deal. Our thoughts and perceptions slowly move towards gloom and despair. We have no idea what the future holds. The clouds of tension is getting thicker and we are waiting for the sun to shine brightly.

Change is such a concept. It always sticks true to its nature. Now nature is the brilliant master and together their compositions have to be followed by all the living beings. With time the change for better situation will be here. Till then we have to build mental strength, lean on to our loved ones, understand and respect the laws of nature and hold on to the faith that ‘every cloud has a silver lining.’

Please follow your local government directives, stay calm and stay indoors. Let’s silently stay by each other’s side by doing our bit and unanimously we will triumph over it.

Tiffin Tales 106

Hola…

Hope the weather and your life is treating you fair enough. If by any chance you follow my blog you would know I mostly write about random things of life. There are many phases of life and a person like me with minimalistic guidance learns every single day. Not everything can be found on internet but life’s lessons has taught me manifold which I am not diving into. 

Today I am not going discuss about my life or my challenges or my perspective about life. It’s been quite some time that I have been living offshore and in these years I have come across many people with reams of emotions and personalities. Almost everyone has had left some impression on my mind which I browse through periodically. This time I am going to discuss about a lady who in my mind is an ‘iron lady’. 

Okay, so it goes like this…..When we moved to this new place and I was a complete out-of-stater, things were onerous. I thought so, perhaps. I was a bit skeptical because my child was going to start full day school and sending by bus was a new concept for me too. Previously I was at his service. Now all the school buses are yellow and it was mystifying for me to an extent. Just like my child my apprehensions settled down too within a week. Now there was yellow bus which used to stop next to my building and only child used to get down and before I could see properly she would enter the building with ‘help’ from her mother. This continued for weeks rolling into months. Gradually I got familiar with other families and realized that she was a specially abled child who was ‘extremely sensitive’ to her surroundings. She is so sensitive that her room has no toys, very dim lights, rarely any visitors and her anger frustration all over the place. 

With time I became more curious to talk to her mother. I wanted to talk not to lend any sympathy but my simple curiosity made me approach her. I could sense that the mother was avoiding me. She overlooked my smile or simply refused to make any eye contact even though there wouldn’t be anyone else on the road. I tried a bit more and on one fine sunny day we exchanged smiles followed by small talks and discussing random things like weather and ticket prices. Hey eyes would show signs of stress and pain. I took time and didn’t want to dive into discussing about her daughter. She surprised me when she said that she was expecting a second child. My mind could not process a lot of questions and emotions together at the same time. I congratulated her and left. A few days followed and I kept enquiring about her health and one fine day she broke down. I tried to pacify her thinking these could have been just hormones playing games. I offered her to come to my home and surprisingly she obliged. I was extra cautious to avoid talking about her daughter but she completely broke down. She confessed her fears. Her daughter who seemed different within a few days of birth. The anxious parents sensed and tried all possible medical help within their limitations. The doctors declared that her growth would be really slow and very different. She would have different pattern of eating, sleeping, socializing (there isn’t any yet) and most of her life she would have assisted living. Even though I had heard about her daughter but coming from a mom who is expecting another almost swept me off my feet. This mother didn’t care for anything else and she lived every moment for her daughter. Her only aim was to make her daughter independent where she is in a position to take care of herself. Her daughter speaks a few words and her mother works tirelessly on her vocabulary building as well. The exhausted pregnant mother never requested her husband to make any delicacy or bring any food from outside. She feared if her daughter demanded and if that food worsened her health. The neighbors have been admissibly good enough to share food and offer help. Her in laws have maintained distance when they discovered the situation. The lady has lost her parents too. I almost went numb….Her daughter used to go to special school and when she reached third trimester she slowed down her school too. We couldn’t go to her home fearing not to disturb her daughter. Soon she gave birth to another daughter. The anxious parents ran a series of tests to ease their minds. It was indeed a test of their perseverance and after a few moths the baby was declared fine. I can add more lines to this story but I am keeping it short.

I have seen this lady all these years. She took care of a special child, still happily doing, swimmed through her pregnancy, gave birth and now raising both of them now. They cannot travel far, go for movies. Parks are the only indulgences for them. This lady has almost forgotten how to put on make up, attend social functions, visit her relatives or go for shopping. She begs for extra time from the universe. Her tears have dried up long time back and she bravely holds on to her smile. Her husband has been her back bone all throughout. Her husband salutes her almost every other day and considers her to be a blessing in his life.

Not just this women’s day but every day I look up to her and consider to be women’s day. My everyday problems fall flat in front of her challenges. With folded hands I pray for her and me. Strength for her and patience for me :)

Tiffin Tales 105

Hello everyone,

We are all towards the mid of February and I am sure the winters have toned down a bit. The days have started to get longer a bit. The sun rays appear a few minutes earlier and stays longer. These days I smell a bit of spring too.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day and no this post isn't about to how to celebrate the day. I am sure by now most of them have planned a bit to celebrate in their own small way. Now what makes me ponder is the fact why do we need a day to express and celebrate. Most of us have that special one in our lives with whom we plan to celebrate. Of course there are ones who have't met or going through a lean phase or do not believe in this concept at all. But to set one day to celebrate love still fills my mind with tons of questions.

Love is a very generic word and it doesn't define just one relation. Love comes form in many forms and all we need just a heart to feel it. We love our families, friends, movie characters and many people who touch our lives in some way.

I remember in my growing years, I was so fond of an actor that I refused to believe that his character in a movie passed away. I loved him a lot, and still do but at that point the tears just refused to stop. Ha ha. I still watch his movies but now with lots of love and warmth. While love can give strength sometimes it makes debilitated too. Many many moons back when I used to go to school there was a grandpa who lived close to our neighborhood. He wasn't in our line of houses but somewhat close by and we had to cross his house when I started going to college. During my school days we didn't meet that often but the route during college used to make me meet him often. He lived with his family of son, daughter-in-law and grand children. Most of the time he used to be seen sitting on his easy chair in the front of his house and talking to passer by. As I became regular, he used to wave at me and soon it became a regular thing. I used to purposely look at the direction of their home to wave at him. A few months I started to talk a few words too. I used to enquire about his health and his medicines. I remember he had the broadest smile. I never saw my grandfather and I grew fond of him. He saw me through my graduation too and soon I had to take a different route of life and destination. A year later I got the news that he passed away and the more surprising fact that I came to know that he couldn't hear well. He used to wave, smile and always say that 'I am fine, all is well'. Somehow that day I cried a lot too. We had no blood relation still I adored him and perhaps loved him too.

Love is both the most delicate and strongest of all feelings ever felt. It gives so much fortitude to the mind and heart that we ourselves get stupefied of our capabilities. Celebrate love in whatever form it may come. Do not restrict your love to human beings only. Animals understand the language of love too. Shower them with love too. They may not give you any flowers but they will give their hearts for sure.

I have no plans of celebrating this day but I am planning to bake a cake that goes well with tea. Now let me find some easy peasy cake recipe while you guys enjoy the day.

Spread love

Tiffin Tales 104

Hola...

I hope you all are doing great in the second month of the year. The first month just whisked by. Most of the people in living in warmer climates like winters so December January are their most loved months. We all different reasons to like or not like the winters. The ones who face the extreme wind chill wait for the warmer days while the ones who get almost roasted in summers wait to chill in the winters. Irony right?

Wedding seasons mostly take place in winters. The bride in her heavy attire can keep her sanity mostly during the winters. The warmth of the weather and the freshness of makeup are all adored by the bride who looks forward to the special day of her life. We all associate our weddings with a certain color. As I am Bengali we opt for red, maroon or any deep color of that matter. Even if we are the invitees we opt for radiant colors.

Sheila is a woman of mid thirties living her life with her husband and children. She has cordial relationship with her in laws and visits them frequently. Last weekend they had a marriage reception to attend and the kids were excited that their grandparents would join them too. Sheila had saved a saree for quite sometime to be worn at any special occasion. Even though there was no famine of invitations all round the year yet the saree somehow got pushed away amidst the pile. Sheila missed it from her memory and the saree forgot her buyer. As she was trying to dig out something for her daughter this saree popped out. She was both surprised and excited for different reasons. First she found something ready to wear without rasping her brain and secondly this was her favorite color. The saree was a white chikankari with other embellishments which truly was a beauty to be worn at any function.

As normally as it happens, they all got decked up but her mother in law was irked by her choice of color. She sternly said married women should have some color in their dress and not wear plain white. Although Sheila was complemented by her maid who was trying to wrap up the newspaper on the floor and the lady who had come to pick up clothes for laundry Sheila was a bit taken back. Does color define your marital status? Does wearing white bring bad omen? She was confused but the hurried husband man declared that there was no time to change. Sheila was looking gorgeous, her husband whispered too but her smile or glow was robbed off before attending the party.

I am thinking the same. White signifies peace, white signifies purity, white calms the mind and white in my community is associated with mournings too. White lilies are gorgeous but any family wearing wearing white signals death in the family. We worship with white flowers but widows used to wear white too. What exactly does white signify? Still thinking purity? White protects from summer rays and white soothes too. Just like Sheila I too understand that any color added with white gives a more balanced look but simply wearing white is elegant too.

I hope someday like Sheila, I too, find more reasons of wearing white. It will calm not only my mind but others thoughts too.

Since this is a tiffin tale its customary to add a line about my kids lunch boxes too. This morning I packed vegetable pasta  in simple marinara sauce with a dash of grated cheese. I am sure that was gobbled soon. Enjoy your day..Catch you soon

2020 first post

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020


Folks, hope all have been doing tremendously well. I went into hibernation since a lot has happened in the last six months. I became aunt to twins, my laptop crashed, my parents stayed for a few days with me and what not. There have been fillers with illness, festivals, birthdays. I always missed writing here but my laptop went into denial mode and denied to help me. I lost quite a bit of data for which I almost went into depression. I am glad that finally I get to jot down a few lines here once again.

I became aunt to twin babies and the joy is unparalleled. The experience is so unique seeing two tiny human beings growing together. The madness of the festive season, the excitement of birthday parties, school projects together made me run like a headless chicken all around.

My children have been taking turns to fall prey to the cold weather and this time they took a step forward to get viral germs and spread it to us too.

In the midst of all the precipitance we all grow, we all evolve, we all learn, cry and enjoy through the times, weather and the moments. When my parents left I almost felt a part of me went with them too. Once again I long to meet them and spend some more time and breath a new life into memories.

I will be more regular in writing now that some complicated situations seem to get uncoiled. I hope i will get enough time to pen down a few lines whether or not someone reads it...

Enjoy the moment....

Tiffin Tales 103

Hola...

How are you friends doing? I hope the sun is shining more brightly now and you all are enjoying the season amidst lots of mangoes and chiller drinks...Oh yes, did I forget to mention ice creams too? The markets are flooded with different flavors, so just go and grab your favorite flavors.

The past month I took a small break and decided to just soak in the moments. The moments when my parents came and I got to spend some time with them after quite some time. When they left I almost went to depression (technically not though). They stayed with us for a small amount of time but I did not want to miss out any moments of love and laughter with them. We could not replicate our childhood moments but walking down through that lane with my children was surely fun. They were curious to know how life was with limited gadgets and meager toys.

My father took pride in sharing the stories how efficiently I could climb trees to get those guavas or bravely learnt how to ride cycle with minimum help. Stories, anecdotes and food kept flowing till late at night. The weather was a depressant though. We tried to take them in and around but the strong winds forced us to stay home for most of the days. We reimbursed those days with movies and ice creams. Only thing my kids did was scream with ice cream and had one hell of a time.

Parents are blessings in the truest form. Life feels so calm and less stressful with them around. I relished all the meals cooked by her and craving more so now. Life without parents feels like a dish cooked with minimalistic spices. There is a taste but so many flavors missing. Time keeps changing and we just hop from one story to another but our childhood stories are preciously kept safe with our parents. I am already looking forward to my next visit to my parents and somewhere deeply miss being with them.

Well, the summer break starts this week and I will have a crazy schedule. But our constant love for food will be there and there will be extensive sessions of baking and messy kitchen all throughout the school closure. Lets all enjoy the season with whatever you have. If you none to enjoy with just remember the sun and the moon are lonely but they shine bright...You have admirers too...

This morning its been pouring and my S wanted to take pasta for lunch. It something easy and absolutely no fuss. For his snack box I packed some orange slices, some peaches and a small muffin... Enjoy friends, catch you all soon...

Tiffin Tales 102

Hola...

I know it's belated but Happy Mother's Day to all mothers worldwide. I hope you all made to feel how much we all need our mothers irrespective of time and age. Even though mothers work tirelessly everyday day and one single day of appreciation is never enough to acknowledge her worth yet one of special hug and love will be equally appreciated by all mothers.

There is an aunt in my family who could never give birth. Going back to the days when we grew up adoption was neither easy nor a very welcoming decision in the family. The society was and is still to an extent is stern and patriarchal where women are confounded for being unable to give birth. The process of adoption is still long-winded even though the idea is still conceivable. Now this aunt had to bear taunts from all walks of life for not giving birth. Even though as couple they wanted to adopt a child but owing to the tedious process and less support from their families they dropped the idea. We always say her happy but but deep down in her heart she always carried that burden with her. This aunt of ours always appreciated children so after a few years she offered to teach children which killed her monotony and developed as a profession. With years she threw herself in the company of books and children around her. She used to make snacks on occasions especially whenever she would learn that it was someones birthday. The love of those children was her soul food.

This is just one aunt I know because I have seen her but there are perhaps thousands of women worldwide who yearn to be a mother someday. Multiple doctor visits, tests, treatments just for one blessing. Well some dreams and prayers are accepted while the others have still securely hold on to their hopes.

A mother's life is always full of struggles and surprises. From the moment she becomes aware that a tiny human being is attached to her uterus she build her world which is nothing but love. The pain of giving birth, the joy of holding and the sheer joy of seeing them grow is nothing short of a magical experience.

On a different side there are mothers who may not have felt the pain, watch their bellies grow or felt the fluttering kicks yet their hearts are full of love for the children whom they have adopted or take care of them through various organizations. They are mothers in every form because they too speak the language of love.

Every day is Mother's Day if you acknowledge your mother. She is the epitome of selfless love and our existence. Love and respect your mother for you will never get another.