Tiffin Tales 121

Hola...

It's the sixth month of the year and by now we all have undergone and experienced so many varied levels of emotions. While another six months of the year remains most of us are yawning and waiting for this year to get over. Some of us are stressed and some are scared to the core as to what awaits us next.

Scared? But why? Is it fear of unknown or the fear of how to process that abrogating that piece of news? We all are different when it comes to facing negativity or any other complex emotion. Most of the people must have read about the news of the actor who took his life because of depression. Since yesterday I was feeling disturbed too. The actor wasn't related to me or my family in any possible way but his untimely departure has left many open ended questions. I am sure many like me are looking for answers. He looked well, acted well, earned decently, was well-informed and perceptive then why did he take such a drastic step? We all are weighted with our 'why's'. His set of questions left the earth along with him but our minds are simply drowned with so many questions. It seems he wasn't given due credit, acknowledged for his work, was sidelined and so many things that are surfacing now. He was avoided by many when he started visiting doctor for depression. Nobody to hold his hand firmly and assure him that whatever be the situation it always changes. Only if he knew, understood and hadn't succumbed. My wish along the wish of thousand other people's wish.

We all want to be loved, listened and encouraged from time to time. Feeling loved by people is a basic instinct I guess and he was no different. In this over populous world we find hard to find a trustworthy person to share our feelings. I am sure just like him there are millions out there who really want someone should calmly listen to their stories. Listening is so important and in parenting it's one of the top most. We argue, we scream, we cry, we advise but rarely listen. Having someone listen to our story is so therapeutic. 

In this world of gadgets most of our feelings are expressed through emoticons, smileys, abbreviations and you name it. Machines sense most of our needs, help us with finding the perfect gift for our loved ones. I wonder can they gauge our love for them too? The funniest thing I find people do not trust their family members with their phones. Phones keep their trusted secrets which human beings cannot. My brain still spins while I am writing this. We have replaced human touch with lots of other disposable things.

As I pray for the soul of the departed actor I am hoping that someday we all will have answers to our questions, at least of some. We all can play a little part that nobody falls prey of taking their own lives. It's a one time gift for ourselves and our parents. A parent(s) contribution in raising a child cannot be jotted down in a few lines but when people succumb to the worldly pressures parents die almost instantly too. The actor had many heights to scale, many rocky roads to walk, many milestones to celebrate but he chose a different path. Let's all respect his chosen path but synchronously chose to be more patient with the people around us. Often we ignore people who try to reach us but later regret it. I hope we all try, the least we can do... 

Tiffin Tales120

Hola...

I hope everyone is doing fine amidst all the things in life. The universe seem to be in quite a chaos now. We are all slowly getting back to our pre corona lives. Even though we are trying to make changes and emphasizing a lot on hygiene, yet there is some amount of fear in our minds. The virus has dug deep into our lives and minds.

I really don't know how to feel these days. Each day feels like a mixed bag of emotions. Its June and the only day when everyone at my home felt happy and excited was on May 31st 2020, when two humans went to International Space station first time from a private company. The feeling was so good. It felt that human beings achieved a new scale, set a new benchmark and years of hard work was meeting success. Not for a minute the virus bugged our thoughts, only kept fingers crossed and wished success. Those few moments are so far the most enjoyable and memorable for us.

Within a couple of days I was deeply saddened when I read the news of pregnant elephant who died after consuming pineapple with firecrackers. My head is still spinning thinking how low can we stoop down as humans. This pregnant elephant was just looking for food and trusted the humans. The elephant should have trusted the nature perhaps the baby elephant would have arrived by now. It's so shameful and derogatory just thinking about it. 

We all living beings have equal rights over this planet and resources provided by nature. Our skin color, race, religion should never be a hindrance in getting respect and dignity that we all deserve. The recent killing has opened up all the bottled up oppression that people have to face today and everyday. Protests have sparked off far and wide and its time we change our approach. The universe is trying to change everything or man made beliefs. The century old norms are about to change and we all have to learn to coexist.

I don't know how this weekend looks like but I have to shop a bit. My pantry needs a bit of restocking. So with masks and gloves I will have to run a bit of errands and settle for the next week. Let's just hope the coming days are peaceful so that we all can sit under the sun. Our summers are pretty short and losing one sunny day is a precious loss. All we hope is that the coming days are less stressful and more peaceful. Much love to all...

Tiffin Tales 119

Hola...

It's Memorial day weekend and we are thinking of the fallen heroes all over the world for the service of mankind and humanity. I feel we have warriors all around us. They are unsung and unheard but silently serving the community around them. The brave men and women who defy all societal norms to help others are just more than courageous.

In these corona times we have lots of warriors around us. People who are fighting for our lives and health, people who are keeping us connected, people who are working to deliver the deliverables, people who are teaching and many many others who trying to help in whatever big or small capacity. 

I like to call my kids warriors too. They are helping themselves and me at times to keep everything flowing. These little ones are oblivious to many facts of life yet they are trying in their best possible ways to keep themselves occupied, sometimes without being asked.

Back in my small home town is one such 'Pishi' (aunt) who is doing amazing things in these trying times. She is a widow and her children live in different states. She advised them not to come to her in these strenuous times. Her children regularly call her and try to take care of her. She is fully aware of the current situation yet she decided to make food packets and asked a trusted neighbor to drop them at hospitals or any government organizations where people work in shifts. She never refuses anyone whoever comes at her door step asking for any kind of help. She has been doing this for the past two months and wants to maintain that. While her children are almost freaked out thinking about the consequences she assures them that she is doing fine. Pishi wears gloves for most part of the day, wears masks when she cooks and drops the neatly packed food packet at her patio before someone comes to collect them. She has a maid who also happens to be her renter who helps her in her household but when it comes to cooking she insists on doing everything herself. She takes immense pride in cooking herself and satisfies her soul thinking that someone has eaten the food without going hungry to bed. She makes very simple food probably what she eats but she feels home cooked has extra nutrition because its cooked with love. Those of us know her have simply been amazed by her thoughts and her zeal to do something in these arduous times. Pishi is exemplary for people around us. Some of her neighbors have been motivated by her energy and devotion that they do groceries for her and drop at her door step and she helps others with those food items. Circle of life I say.

There are perhaps thousands of 'Pishi's'  around us who are trying and are contributing. Not everyone can be like her but everyone can smile, pray and share some load and together we can make a difference.

These days the schools are closed and all focus is on the lunch. My fridge has very limited vegetables but surprisingly there were a few chicken drumsticks in my freezer. Rice, chicken drumsticks and some diced carrots and peas, onions, with some minimal spices and all in a cooker. What would you call? He named it 'surprise biryani'. I couldn't be more happy. Now he is resting and let me watch something...Take rest and take care everyone...

Tiffin Tales 118

Hola...

 I was so elated about the sun shining yesterday that today we don't see the sun at all. Ironical! All last night I was apprehensive about the storm that has affected the lives in West Bengal and other adjoining areas. The storm which has been named 'Aamphan' has been really destructive and most people say that they haven't witnessed so strong and calamitous previously. The coastal areas have been the most hard hitters. Huge tress have uprooted, birds and animals have died and lot of places are presently without electricity or water. Nature is really furious, it seems.

The year of 2020 is a year of nature and the disasters that we are witnessing . It started with horrific fire emergency in Australia. Millions of animals and scores of land had been destroyed and wildlife was the worst hit. Even before the wildfire started there were news of volcano spouting lava displacing almost putting 500,000 lives of people in danger in Philippines. The Australian wildfire hadn't even settled yet when the world was gripped and still by the corona virus. The virus has been described as pandemic and the world wide spread has forced the world to close everything and sit inside our homes.

The first five months of the year has been investigating in terms of patience and survival. Each and every day we all are struggling to keep ourselves safe from the virus and yet trying to lead a 'normal' life. I don't know the new normal because we were so used to previous normal that settling with the new normal will certainly take lot of time and tons of effort.

A few of my friends and families live in and around West Bengal and since morning I have been texting them to check about their safety, the least that I can do. Nature has its own way of teaching the mankind and perhaps it's a subtle way to indicate to obey the laws of nature in order to avoid any future catastrophes.

I so want to go out for a walk now but feel too lazy to put on a pullover. I think I should and return for a cup of tea. The dinner will be late for sure...

Tiffin Tales 117

Hola...

The clouds are slowly giving way to sun. The sun is visiting us after a gap of five days and we are hoping to see him everyday. It isn't a bright sunny day yet feels good to catch a glimpse of sun every now and then.

This morning my elder one was struggling a bit to play a simple song on his guitar. It hasn't been long that he started to learn this instrument. We cannot completely say he loves it but he shows interest to play it. He is short tempered and very emotional by nature. He cannot hide his frustration or anger. I could see his frustration at his inability to master that tune. Patience still doesn't come close to him, perhaps fearing his temperament. Well, I always joke about that. He struggled for sometime and then he 'almost' gave up. I suddenly murmured that, 'you are trying your best, and success follows soon." I don't know how much he listens to me but this morning he did. He did and he triumphed. 

Words have so much magical effect on our minds and hearts especially on the kids. A simple line or a few encouraging words makes a day and perhaps frames a mind. When it comes to kids they take parents words very seriously and sometimes they get imprinted in their minds. I encourage my kids to try everything in life and think less about consequences. Trying new things opens a lot of opportunities compared to guarding them against everything. Now when I say this it doesn't mean I advise them them to do anything unhealthy, unlawful or anything abhorrent in nature. I want them to try, fail, learn and then set on a new adventure. Trying new things takes a broader horizon to look at challenges and some encouragement. I cannot say about other kids but mine are restless and are constantly looking for a change of activities. It is highly challenging and exhausting on my part but yet I feel in the process we all might end up learning something unknown.

We all need perhaps one perhaps who will never give up on us irrespective of the circumstances. One person could be just anyone who will encourage us to swim even if the tides are high. We all need one and we should try to be that one. Trying to be that one will be a bit harder because at some point we will have to let go off our ego and put some else on the priority list. To overlook their faults and happily embracing them just the way they are. 

My mind is clouded when i think how I will be able to navigate their thoughts and lives but no matter what we as parents will love them unconditionally for just the way they are and the way they want to be....

Tiffin Tales 116

Hola...

It's been pouring and pouring incessantly for the last twenty four hours. The clouds seem to get heavier with each passing hour. Looking out of the window seems to be more painful. We have been taking turns to watch the TV but somehow get spiritless after an hour or so. We all try to stretch perhaps every two 

hours to prevent the tailbone from curling. Sigh...

This weekend we tried to socialize a bit more. When the lockdown had started we all made apprehensive calls, then the calls were more about asking about well being and I feel we make calls to kill time at times. Of course the working calls aren't counted in them though. We made video calls to add extra more minutes because when we see faces it adds many more things to discuss apart from the virus and groceries.

This morning my elder one refused to have any kind of breakfast that was offered. He gently dissented that he was quite exhausted of cereals, breads, 'poha', 'upma'. I could feel his anger but I was confused too. I am also running out of options but refused to revel that to him. I tried to make something for him which eventually cheered him and thus my morning was salvaged. Okay, if you ask me, let me tell you it was nothing but my own version of pancakes. It had good amount of eggs and butter. Now promise me if you go through these lines you won't tell him. Secret! Mothers are so good with hacks you see.

After the morning storm at the table we moved to lunch. Nobody asked me anything but I was feeling lackadaisical too. The weather outside was enough to make anyone feel passive. I just pulled out some chicken from freezer, marinated it and cooked it with minimal spices but made sure it was a bit spicy. There was no complaints from anyone instead everyone went for a second round and secretly I smiled. Lunch sorted too. Sigh!

I won't be writing about dinner to bore you but yes dinner went off peacefully too. This is one of the many days when rains have been like a comatose to our lives. We have ordered our books from the library and this is the highlight of the day. My elder ones was waiting when he could get hold of a few books but surfing himself through the library books in person has to wait for a while. As of now we can just order and patiently wait for pick up notification. We aren't aware of the new rules yet. Let wait. Life is going to start in a new way soon. New set of challenges and new rules of living it. Let's hope we all adjust to it....

Tiffin Tales115

Hola...

It's another day of mixed weather and emotions here. The sun wants to shine bright but the clouds seem to over shadow the sun. The quarantine days now seem to be never ending. While we understand the significance of staying indoors, yet now we are praying hard for the hard times to end soon. We certainly have no idea but we are trying to hold on to hope as hard as we can.

Hope is just a four letter word yet gives so much strength. But it should not be confused with expectations. Expectations gives birth to many unwanted emotions in life. The most feeling it gives back is 'disappointment'. We keep expectations from so many people, situations and from the universe but more often than not we do not receive the same and run into other negative emotions. Let's try to understand (from my view point) expectations in a bit detailed manner.

1. Expectation can be like a linear equation. We dream, we plan and expect things to follow a certain route but things can follow its path resulting in pain and disappointment. We plan to go on a vacation, wear the dress we wanted or go to meet family and friends after a gap and make tons of memories. Things may or may not happen and these situations there could be subset of another set of emotions. One, we are constantly stressed to make every moment perfect or planning something with everyone that we completely miss out on the present  situation or second where things do not turn out the plan we had planned. Either ways something seems to be missing. But why? The situations didn't turn out as per our expectations.

2. We expect from everyday life too. We expect our spouses to be back home on time, expect the kids to excel in whatever they do, the dishes to turn out excellent everyday and perhaps the selfies too. These can be hard at times. There are both good and bad hair days so does everything else. We have to master the art of being kind to ourselves.

3. Expectation from people around can be certainly the most killing of all. These days the social media adds lot of belabor in our lives. The perfect dress, the perfect pose, the perfect lines and million people liking them. There is nothing perfect in this world. We expect people to discern us, love us exactly the way we want and this is a HUGE cause of disappointment in us. We trust people with our secrets, feelings and with money too and when they aren't reciprocated we feel crushed. The society expects us to grow in a certain way, achieve something, get married, have kids within a certain age bracket and raise them dynamically. Whatever big or small act we do, try to reduce the level of expectation, it certainly saves the heart.

4. As you try to curb your own expectations, try to give the same vibe to others too. Don't let people expect perfection from you. We all are fallible to circumstances so try to have a realistic approach that things can go wrong at your end too. We can have genuine reasons for not turning up at social functions, or missing the deadline at work or missing to call someone as promised. Give people the chance to figure out that things aren't smooth at your end too. 

5. Learn to prioritize your work. Works aren't just restricted within the office cubicles. We all work at different places and paces but good organizing skills helps to streamline at least a few of the things. If you feel you are overwhelmed with work, it's always prudent to seek help. Ask help from spouses, children, friends and neighbors. There will be someone who can help you to straighten things when they don't seem to.

6. Always take into consideration that plans fail, strategies mess up and life throws that curve ball. Be prepared for rains even on a sunny day and when it rains it pours too. Problems can pour from all corners hence try to keep calm.

7. Life is a journey of possibilities and expectations and emotions. While there are no specifications or any theorem to follow the basic formula remains same. Live it, face it and keep a check on our emotions and expectations.

My long post will be incomplete if I don't mention it here...My older one is expecting me to bake something and I will try now. I hope he doesn't keep his expectation too high here ;)