Tiffin Tales 116

Hola...

It's been pouring and pouring incessantly for the last twenty four hours. The clouds seem to get heavier with each passing hour. Looking out of the window seems to be more painful. We have been taking turns to watch the TV but somehow get spiritless after an hour or so. We all try to stretch perhaps every two 

hours to prevent the tailbone from curling. Sigh...

This weekend we tried to socialize a bit more. When the lockdown had started we all made apprehensive calls, then the calls were more about asking about well being and I feel we make calls to kill time at times. Of course the working calls aren't counted in them though. We made video calls to add extra more minutes because when we see faces it adds many more things to discuss apart from the virus and groceries.

This morning my elder one refused to have any kind of breakfast that was offered. He gently dissented that he was quite exhausted of cereals, breads, 'poha', 'upma'. I could feel his anger but I was confused too. I am also running out of options but refused to revel that to him. I tried to make something for him which eventually cheered him and thus my morning was salvaged. Okay, if you ask me, let me tell you it was nothing but my own version of pancakes. It had good amount of eggs and butter. Now promise me if you go through these lines you won't tell him. Secret! Mothers are so good with hacks you see.

After the morning storm at the table we moved to lunch. Nobody asked me anything but I was feeling lackadaisical too. The weather outside was enough to make anyone feel passive. I just pulled out some chicken from freezer, marinated it and cooked it with minimal spices but made sure it was a bit spicy. There was no complaints from anyone instead everyone went for a second round and secretly I smiled. Lunch sorted too. Sigh!

I won't be writing about dinner to bore you but yes dinner went off peacefully too. This is one of the many days when rains have been like a comatose to our lives. We have ordered our books from the library and this is the highlight of the day. My elder ones was waiting when he could get hold of a few books but surfing himself through the library books in person has to wait for a while. As of now we can just order and patiently wait for pick up notification. We aren't aware of the new rules yet. Let wait. Life is going to start in a new way soon. New set of challenges and new rules of living it. Let's hope we all adjust to it....

Tiffin Tales115

Hola...

It's another day of mixed weather and emotions here. The sun wants to shine bright but the clouds seem to over shadow the sun. The quarantine days now seem to be never ending. While we understand the significance of staying indoors, yet now we are praying hard for the hard times to end soon. We certainly have no idea but we are trying to hold on to hope as hard as we can.

Hope is just a four letter word yet gives so much strength. But it should not be confused with expectations. Expectations gives birth to many unwanted emotions in life. The most feeling it gives back is 'disappointment'. We keep expectations from so many people, situations and from the universe but more often than not we do not receive the same and run into other negative emotions. Let's try to understand (from my view point) expectations in a bit detailed manner.

1. Expectation can be like a linear equation. We dream, we plan and expect things to follow a certain route but things can follow its path resulting in pain and disappointment. We plan to go on a vacation, wear the dress we wanted or go to meet family and friends after a gap and make tons of memories. Things may or may not happen and these situations there could be subset of another set of emotions. One, we are constantly stressed to make every moment perfect or planning something with everyone that we completely miss out on the present  situation or second where things do not turn out the plan we had planned. Either ways something seems to be missing. But why? The situations didn't turn out as per our expectations.

2. We expect from everyday life too. We expect our spouses to be back home on time, expect the kids to excel in whatever they do, the dishes to turn out excellent everyday and perhaps the selfies too. These can be hard at times. There are both good and bad hair days so does everything else. We have to master the art of being kind to ourselves.

3. Expectation from people around can be certainly the most killing of all. These days the social media adds lot of belabor in our lives. The perfect dress, the perfect pose, the perfect lines and million people liking them. There is nothing perfect in this world. We expect people to discern us, love us exactly the way we want and this is a HUGE cause of disappointment in us. We trust people with our secrets, feelings and with money too and when they aren't reciprocated we feel crushed. The society expects us to grow in a certain way, achieve something, get married, have kids within a certain age bracket and raise them dynamically. Whatever big or small act we do, try to reduce the level of expectation, it certainly saves the heart.

4. As you try to curb your own expectations, try to give the same vibe to others too. Don't let people expect perfection from you. We all are fallible to circumstances so try to have a realistic approach that things can go wrong at your end too. We can have genuine reasons for not turning up at social functions, or missing the deadline at work or missing to call someone as promised. Give people the chance to figure out that things aren't smooth at your end too. 

5. Learn to prioritize your work. Works aren't just restricted within the office cubicles. We all work at different places and paces but good organizing skills helps to streamline at least a few of the things. If you feel you are overwhelmed with work, it's always prudent to seek help. Ask help from spouses, children, friends and neighbors. There will be someone who can help you to straighten things when they don't seem to.

6. Always take into consideration that plans fail, strategies mess up and life throws that curve ball. Be prepared for rains even on a sunny day and when it rains it pours too. Problems can pour from all corners hence try to keep calm.

7. Life is a journey of possibilities and expectations and emotions. While there are no specifications or any theorem to follow the basic formula remains same. Live it, face it and keep a check on our emotions and expectations.

My long post will be incomplete if I don't mention it here...My older one is expecting me to bake something and I will try now. I hope he doesn't keep his expectation too high here ;)

Tiffin Tales 114

Hola Friends...

Wishing all the mothers all over the world a very Happy Mother's Day. May you all be blessed with good health, positivity and more strength to endure all the battles that come your way. I am sure this year is a unique way to celebrate this day amidst such a world crisis. No one on this planet had perhaps ever dreamt that we would all be singing, dancing, cooking, baking, clicking, crying or missing our mothers  sitting right inside our homes.

We all have our ways to celebrate our mothers love in different ways and in different forms. I am sure most of the mothers would agree that everyday is a children's day for the mothers and many celebrate their mothers almost everyday in whatever they do. A mothers love is from heart and not from womb and it reflects in every sphere of life. A woman can be a mother to her biological child, her adopted child or even to strangers child. There is a mother in every woman and its just the circumstances which brings out the feature to the fullest.

Some are very lucky to get their mothers love till a greater part of their lives while some just yearn for that. Some live with their mothers till they depart while others count every second till they go to meet them. We are all united when it comes to missing our mothers. Such is the power of mothers in our lives that we never stop missing them and no amount of time spent with them seems enough. I feel at times life starts with mother and never ceases to end even if it be with her memories.

People like who stay away miles away from their families perhaps feel it everyday and every moment. But I count my blessings because I can still see them or talk to them. I dread that day when I will be just left with memories. The womb nurtures but mothers touch and words always soothe and heal. Only one person who will always listen to my complaints and rants without judging much and provide me with options and solutions. So how can it be just one day?

I am not into celebrating these days because I always need an excuse to get some time for myself every single. I always call my mother and try to make sure she is feeling loved and remembered every moment of the day. My kids try to make me feel special though by making a card or baking a cake with their father. We all like to be loved and understood.

There are so many things to write here but I will sign off now. May all the mothers never go through the pain of putting their children hungry to sleep. It almost burns my heart when kids cry for food and mothers feel helpless. May all mothers enjoy motherhood amidst all struggles, hardships, stigmas and shine bright in the lives of her children. May love and gratitude surround her always. My wish and my prayer as I go to sleep now. Enjoy...

Tiffin Tales 113

Hola...

The rains, the clouds, the small appearances of the sun is marking our spring as we look from our window. Today is almost 45th day of staying indoors. While we keep less track of the date but we try to hold on positivity more firmly with each passing day. The world never envisioned of something outlandish situation like this. Human beings are advised to be inside while other species can comfortably enjoy the nature. Such is the anathema of mankind on earth that peacocks are dancing again on a busy road and rivers are flowing minus the dumpsters.

This is all about corona stories. This morning I was reading about a story of a girl. It's random story about a girl through her eyes and her journey. I do not remember her name or may be it could be her pseudonym too. She says a poor girl without much talent and money cannot have real friends in life. She grew up in a very ordinary family and by luck's stroke went to a school which was high by their standards. The other kids who went to that school mostly came from financially strong families. She wasn't academically bright either. The other kids socialized and celebrated birthdays while she never really celebrated her's. She was rarely invited to those parties and no one remembered her birthday too. However she had two friends who used to check with her from time to time. Her house never had too many visits from her friends too. School days passed while she wished for some many things which was so normal for her peers. She walked from her school while other kids waved her from their vehicles. They enjoyed ice cream on summer days but she used to politely put down request when offered. She never threw tantrums at home fearing that her parents would be hurt. She was mostly cornered in discussions because she was not cool in any sense. But she never protested, hid tears and sailed through her school life.

Luck chased wherever she went. All along her educational life she came across many students who liked her, spoke to her but never got too close to her. She couldn't throw any ice cream or pizza party or carry any personal phones to stay in touch either. Affording makeups was bulky on the pockets for her and visiting salons was restricted only for special occasions because her parents asked her so. So her life style choices was funneled down and so was her topic of talks with her peers. When you do not have too many common choices its unmistakeable that people will be just courteous to you. She never complained to anyone. Oh yes, she says she never had any male attention either. Perhaps there were but no one thought of dating her, may be...

Years later when all of her peers have settled in their lives she still reminisces them. These days, courtesy social media it's possible to catch a glimpse of her peer's lives but most of them do not respond to her wishes and pleasantries. She feels again cornered too. They hold important job titles while she is happily settled in her life minus a job. They still ignore her and she is hurt but feels they all were a part of her childhood. Her level of excitement to talk or stay in touch is never matched by her batch mates.

This girl has questioned about friendship rules. Now that when her daughter is growing up she wants to advise her. It is indisputable that some people will always hurt but that should not be a sign of not forming friendship. She has made peace with her life and circumstances. She doesn't feel attached to her friends anymore barring one or two. She juggles between her childhood and her daughter's childhood. She can afford a lot more materialistic things for her daughter which were amiss from her childhood but things are never any parameters for making friends. She repeatedly questions "is having wealth a sign of being a happy friend?'

We all know or have a few friends in our lives that have stood by us through all seasons and weathers and some are fortunate to have them life long. In this fast paced life we all get tied up by various circumstances and it's those few friends who silently walk with us even though we cannot talk or meet frequently.

This story has forced me to think from many levels. How will I manage my kids or explain the consequences if left with not too many friends? Are all friends real? How to distinguish or will time teach them? I am scratching my mind...If you have any pointers, feel free to share.

Till then stay indoors and stay safe....

Tiffin Tales 112

I want to sleep but cannot sleep. I want my dreams to be pleasant but they are not. I want to plan a lot of things but unable to do. I want to write but my words are curling up. I am confused but do not know the exact reason(s). I want to order stuff online but do not get any delivery window open.

As I write these lines I am simultaneously surfing through the websites as to who can deliver my groceries. I do not want to go shopping but don't know how long can I manage without stepping out. I am not sure what these feelings mean but it always feels good to toss the words and dish out to complete strangers.

The weather has been deceitful too. It looks sunny outside but out there its windy and cold. The sunny day still stops me from stepping outside even I though all I want is to take a simple stroll.

It's so easy to complain as I did now but the frontline workers at this moment do not even have time to sit think and complain perhaps. They are working and perhaps overworking and do not get adequate time with their families either. How selfish of me to think of my problems when they are thinking about the masses!

I try to keep my mind at peace by constantly thinking that its's also a phase and we have to sail through. We have to engage our minds which gets challenging at times. So many thoughts keep creeping up time and again and keeping them at bay is a protest in itself.

This morning I tried to meditate. Please trust me when I say it really helps. The thoughts of the welfare of my loved ones who are so far from me disturbs a lot. Meditation didn't answer my fears but calmed my senses to an extent. The day seemed a bit productive too. I chatted with some old friends, cleaned some of the mess which the kids make and I was ignoring from the last few days.

So I am hoping that going forward I will try to meditate everyday for sometime. It will be 'me' time which will lull my thoughts to an extent and answer the unanswered. Try it if you haven't so far. They will be the best moments when you are home and can dedicate time guilt free.

Tiffin Tales 111

Hola,

Okay, so this is the second time that it snowed this week and we are a bit upset about that. Even though we cannot complain because we all have to be indoors yet we said a small prayer for everyone who have to go outside given their nature of jobs.

As most of us are all inside our homes we are spending a major part on the internet precisely in front of any kinds of screen. These screens are our windows to the world. A part of us like to watch news and keep a tab on everything going around. I am assuming a percentage of people like me do keep a track but find it stressful to hear about the virus all throughout the day. As for me, I watch once in the morning and once during dinner time. I follow closely but rest of the time its more online grocery shopping hunt and some binge watching.

This afternoon I read about a story which compelled me to think from some many corners. A lady was travelling by bus when the bus stopped at a stop. The bus was occupied and there was just one spot by the lady seated next to the window. When the bus stopped another old lady got into the bus with lots of shopping bags. The bus driver helped to get in and she took the vacant spot. The old lady was well built and with all her bags it was almost getting difficult for two ladies to share the seats. The other lady could barely move. Seeing the discomfort of the situation an old man stood up and offered his seat to the old lady because he felt that way all three would be able to sit comfortably. The lady by the window seat with a smile politely refused. She said, "Its a small journey, let's all accommodate." The old man understood and smiled. He understood the profundity of the words and went back to his seat. A few stops later the lady by the window got down. Throughout her travel she didn't express any inconvenience towards the old lady thus leaving some memories with the people around her.

Now as I sip my tea and write these lines I try to think about so many things. We cannot accept so many situations in our lives. SO many of us are struggling to sit at our homes. People who are used to race with the clocks are now coping with the new set of environment. There are lots of uncertainties over the present and future and I guess its all a part of our journey. This part of our journey is just to sit back because we have no control over what is going around us. Let us all be considerate and generous which can help us in this journey. We all can do our part and we know the best way to do them. Our ways of helping may be different but the goal is to be of help to someone. If there is no way we can help some, think again. We can help others simply by staying home and reduce the chances of spreading.

Okay, time to finish my tea and plan for my dinner. Its very important part of the day because planning the groceries is highly strategic. If you are working, take rest on the weekends. Most importantly stay safe.

Tiffin Tales 110

Hola...

It's almost a month that we are at home now with everyone getting restless. We all are trying to lift each other's spirit from time and again to escape the flatness of the situation. Reading, baking, watching umpteen cartoons, movies, documentaries and not to forget the news we are trying our best to make our stay at home more colorful. The kids try doing crafts and living area is strewn with papers but I am not complaining because its the result of their productive time...

The world is so mysterious now. The busiest roads and airports of the world are all wearing deserted look. We all are indoors scared, confused and praying hard for these dark days to end soon. The busiest of the restaurants are all wearing forlorn looks. There are no table reservations, no looking forward to the weekend special items. On the contrary most people like me are wearing their heads down to manage with limited options and prepare nutritious meals. With everyone at people it's an added challenge to prepare soulful food with a toned down pantry.

Today is last day of Bengali calendar. This month of Chaitra is supposedly to have vegetarian food. Bengali's do not include onions and garlic in their vegetarian section. Previously people used to consume vegetarian food all throughout this month and on the first day feast with non vegetarian items. Well, we have all crossed those centuries long back and the only day that travelled with us is perhaps the last day of Chaitra. Now people just have strict vegetarian food on the last day and look for benediction. The next day which is the first calendar day is for gorging on sumptuous food items. I remember on the vegetarian day (that's how I say) my mother used to specially make an item with raw jackfruit. I miss it so badly. The memories are still so fresh just like the spring outside now.

Now when the world is such in a disruptive state I miss my parents all the more. I am all the time anxious for their health. I long to go to my home and I do not see that happening soon. I understand there are millions of people all around who right now need many basic amenities like food and medical help. Many people are already without job and money. We all are trying and praying. We are trying to help someone in need in whatever we can. We are praying not just for us but as an entire world. We need prayers and compassion to walk through this crisis.

Tomorrow is the first day of Bengali calendar. We are not preparing anything special. Instead we will be calling people to convey our wishes and pray a little longer. If all goes well, we will collectively celebrate this day with laughter and good food. Till then let's keep praying and sharing whatever little we can. Yes, stay indoors and stay safe.