Tiffin Tales 131

 

Bonjour Spring

We all expressed our love in the month of February and now it's time we move to the lovely weather of Spring. The season of spring is almost here and most of us are bursting with ideas of travel and gardening. Ever wondered what's so special about the spring season? Spring brings hope, inspires us and makes us believe that we can still fulfill those unfulfilled promises. The return of leaves, the blooming tulips and daffodils are all nature’s cues that we have crossed the long, dark winter nights. The days are longer, the sun rays are warmer and nature looks ready to burst out with colors. It all looks splendid.

A lot of people will agree that longer daylight hours to an extent is sure a mood uplifter. It helps with better concentration and zeal to achieve the day's goals. In countries like India there is a festival called ‘Holi’ which marks the beginning of spring. People play with dry colors to soak in the sun and celebrate the season.

When we think of spring we think of love which isn’t just about two individuals. True love starts with a little self care. Many times while racing against the clock we tend to forget ourselves or pay very little attention to our bodies.

True love begins with self care and self love. Self care is never selfish. If you love yourself and you are at peace, only then you can start loving people and accepting your situations more comfortably.

We had a life before Covid 19 hit us in different ways. We found different ways to fight it and deal with it. Life certainly has thrown giant balls of stress in these covid times which is why we all have been fighting extra hard to keep it at bay. In the process to keep our thoughts and spirits uplifted, we all have been practicing old hobbies or taking up new, learnt new craft, baked new dishes or better learnt a new language. We all struggled to keep ourselves engaged and active.

The tides are certainly getting calmer. We are slowly but certainly marching to our pre covid lives. Even though it's early to completely let our guards down yet we all cheer ourselves that we have made it so far. We all have made many lifestyle changes during these times and we should certainly hold on to the ones which kept us safe and healthy.

Let’s start with a basic few reminders which should be on our list every day. Inspiration anyone?

Exercise- Love your body. Never be conscience stricken about your body. Our bodies, especially female bodies undergo lots of hormonal and childbirth changes. Accept those changes gracefully and work towards overall fitness. The overall goal for anybody is to be healthy and build better immunity. Start with any low impact exercise and gradually move towards anything challenging. Start simple. So just grab your water bottle, a mat if you want to start with yoga, or put on your exercise shoes. Yes, don't forget to turn on your favorite music. It certainly adds extra punch to your workouts.

Healthy eating- We love to eat and indulge occasionally. Healthy eating hugely impacts our bodies. Try to satiate your cheesecake cravings by having a single piece. Never deprive your yearning but

portion control certainly helps to stay within the boundaries. Add more fruits and vegetables to your palette. After all, with summer coming up, who doesn't want to look great in that little black dress or a pair of shorts.

Water- Water, water and more water. Ditch those cans or bottles and stay focussed on water. Boring, you bet! Add some lemon or mint or strawberry. Okay we know you have lots of ideas to make that glass of water interesting. So just start. Water not only just hydrates your body but does tons of other chores for our bodies. Well, after all those harmful toxins are flushed out of bodies, you will love that soft glow on your skin. Smiling already, so just start right away!

Sleep- At some point in our lives we all wanted to throw that alarm clock away because we wanted some extra sleep. We wanted to steal those extra minutes before rubbing our eyes to open wide and start our day. Sleep deprivation is like refusing food to our brains. Our brains need it in the right amount to function effectively which is why it makes it extremely important to sleep well. Plan your time well. Let your favorite shows or movies wait a little longer while you catch up with your sleep. A good sleep helps to fight stress a lot better than just brooding over it.

Stress- Stress is synonymous with each of us these days. While stressing, try to stress less. Well, easier said than done but stress has huge impacts on our bodies. The heart is one of its worst victims. Try to manage stress with meditation by stealing a few minutes each day. Change will be noticeable, guaranteed!

Baking- Love cake? We all do. We do not need birthdays to bake or eat a cake. Try baking, it's very therapeutic and your family members will simply love and appreciate your effort as they dig into each slice.

Vacation- It’s spring! No need to pack those heavy jackets to keep you warm when you are on your vacation. We all need a small break from our lives from time to time and hit a new road. You need not fly all the time. Pack some healthy snacks, your favorite clothes and zoooom to some countryside location. Soak the sun and it will leave you rejuvenated.

Gardening- Most of us love flowers but do not have enough space to keep enough plants in our balcony or patio. Winters can be quite harsh for the plants too. It's spring and perfect time to plant those seeds which will bloom perfectly by the time summer sets in. Gardening can be a big stressbuster and the end result of gardening will be purely joy.

Sport- Adding a sport to your life is a great way to keep yourselves fit. Any kind of sport takes away all the negativity and dullness from bodies and minds. Just make sure to keep yourselves hydrated whenever you are playing any sport.

These are a few elementary self care ideas which we feel will make you feel enlivened and reinvigorated. Enjoy the season and catch you in summer!

Tiffin Tales 130

 Hola...

I am here after a little over a month. The weather has changed here for sure. It's early spring even though we do experience bouts of cold days every other day. A few birds can be spotted which is a positive spring sign, I guess. February was all about snow and more snow. 

I wrote a short story in the month of February which I haven't published here. Incase you get curious let me know, I will share here. It feels good when you write something and it gets published in your community magazine. A few people go through it and get back to you with some encouraging words. So the month of February was uniform to me.

March for me is all about spring, birds chirping, green new leaves, spring cleaning and of course putting the heavy duty jackets to rest for a while. The lighter ones take the prime spot. Even though not all trees get new leaves yet they do show signs of spring which is so stimulating. Spring cleaning, I have renamed it as March madness. The snow boots, the heavy jackets and comforters and all other winter accessories get a quick spin in the washer or the sun. I try to replace my bed sheets with the floral ones to revive my freshness of mind. Very soon the tulips will be out in the garden and floral sections of the stores.

Did I mention I recently tried my hand on banana bread? My Bengali family has more than one sweet tooth and we binge on different sweet items every so often. I am conservative with sweets but do enjoy making them. The banana bread was all good except for the sizing. I didn't have a proper bread baking pan and instead used an aluminum foil pan for that. My younger one was certain that it was a cake. It took some art skill to cut it into a rectangular shape of a bread and serve them. I triumphed the taste but failed to convince the little one to call it a bread. Well a few more attempts will surely follow soon.

It's been close to a year that the pandemic gyrated our lives. Slowly we all have adapted our lifestyles to the new norms and following it. The journey hasn't been easy for anyone of us and we all are still battling it every single day. Here's hoping that the new weather brings more positivity in our lives. May we continue to grow and shine in our respective areas. Happy reading!

Tiffin Tales 129

 Hola...

This is the first post of 2021 so let's be good and hopeful. The ramifications of the previous year are still continuing and might as well occupy a major part of this year as well.

Masks, sanitizers and distancing are perhaps the most used and memorized words of the year. I can miss a heartbeat but not masks. 

Speaking of masks we all wear masks of different kinds. To stay away from germs, to hide ourselves from some people and situations, to run away, to conceal our emotions and so on and on. But the outward shield is currently very important.

It's winters here and most of us home. Work from home, working for home but all in home. The house looks like some kind of pandemonium.We clean less and make it messy more. Messy as in with toys and books. Netflix is our best companion and delivery guys are best friends.The cars need less fuel and electricity and water bills have increased. Oh yes, not to forget the fridge which are always loaded but we always look and feel hungry. The dishwashers are working overtime and perhaps looking for a quick break as well.

Last year we celebrated all our festivals, birthdays and all other occasions at home with people participating virtually. This year let's hope we can meet our families, hug them, share food and laugh together.

The year of 2020 has been harsh on each one of us. We singed, painted, danced, baked learnt something new to keep ourselves going. We are still struggling but let's pray the sun shines soon.

Till then take it easy for no time lasts forever. The clouds shall pass too. Till then smile and keep moving. Stay safe and good wishes to all.

Tiffin Tales 128

 Hola...

I am back after a small interval.The month of October is usually a busy month owing to multiple festivals and the aura surrounding it...We are Bengali's and we celebrate Durga Puja which mostly falls in the month of October. Hence October just flies in a flash.

This year it was a different experience to celebrate this festival remotely. Durga Puja follows age old customs and it involves quite a few rituals over three day long festivity. It is quite challenging to condense so many rituals and perform taking alternate route. We all are currently living in a strange world right now and gradually we are evolving in this new way of living. 

I am sure the Goddess doesn't distress over the fact as to how we worship her. It can be remotely, publicly, privately or if nothing happily. She needs undivided devotion, faith and would care less how and where we offer her. While rituals binds us together, faith keeps us going. I am sure this year we have prayed extra hard to get rid of this virus surrounding us.

This year, there were restricted temple visits, no new clothes, marginal photos and bounded food menu. Bengali's indulge on food especially sweets during this time of the year but this year it was controlled and contained...We made ourselves and had them all by ourselves. Growing up we always exchanged food amongst our neighbors and even relatives visiting us would carry any food item especially sweets. The aftertaste of sweets weren't sweet this year. Families couldn't reunite which is one of the biggest highlight of any festival. Sweets, sari, food everything wore a forlorn look. 

The end of the coming week marks another festival Diwali. We all like to illuminate our homes and hearts with lights. This festival has so much warmth that it can instantly brighten up anyones mind. While we gear up to light our homes, let pray for the ones who wont be able to celebrate owing difficult times and situations. May the glow and warmth of this festival eradicate the virus from our lives and minds and bring the smile back. Enjoy the festival with sweets and savories without forgetting the world around us. Its a painful world but lets add more smile and sensitivity. Happy Diwali!

Tiffin Tales 127

 Hola...

It's a crispy autumn day. The sun is shining mild and modest and gentle winds are kind of breathing heavily at times. Amidst all the pandemic fears the weather is changing and festive season is also around. It's completely optional if we choose to celebrate or not but nothing stops the cycle of life and culling our options are nothing less than rigorous. We all love our festivals. 

A few days back on social media I stumbled upon my long lost friend whom I feel I had met many moons back. We weren't exactly friends but somehow we were attached. We went to different schools but same grade. We weren't neighbors or friends but knew each other well enough to rescue the other  in case of any emergency. We knew each other houses but never visited. We always smiled and spoke sporadically but there was no deep friendship although we had a few mutual friends. Life was moving at same pace until teenage years threw a couple of friends off the radar.

I remember that evening. After school hours we returned home and followed the same conventional itinerary.When me along with a few of my neighborhood friends went for our playtime or some walking we could see many women talking something in whispers. The discussion seemed intense and intriguing both at same time. A few steps ahead we could gauge the severity of the topic. We raised our bunny ears and after lot of coaxing came to know that my friend had apparently eloped with his boyfriend. We were dumbstruck and found ourselves cold to respond to the news. Her mother was crying and her father seemed upset as he was talking to people around asking for ideas as to how to handle the situation. This was a topic of discussion over the next few days in our neighborhood and in school recess times and any free time we could have. A week later she was traced down by her family and her father convinced her to return to her family. A few of our friends family went to meet her but we didn't. I did see her after that but didn't know how or what to talk or enquire about. People stalked and stared her wherever she went. One could see her eyes and tell that she and her family members were disturbed. She wanted a regular life which seemed preposterous at that moment. 

Society can be both giving and unforgiving at the same time. Perhaps she realized the extent of her mistake and wanted to leave all the baggage behind but people wont let her. Her family was constantly reminded of her deeds and taunts accompanied them everywhere. Her family was her support and they tried to heal her. Her father took a transfer of his job and they moved to a different state. The last time I saw her she was wearing a jeans and lilac top waiting for her father at a bus stop. They moved to a different state and we never heard about them.

Years later in these unprecedented times, social media comes to our rescue every now and then. It was during these lockdown and random looking at friends photo album I saw her name. I never assumed that it would be her but curiosity bites at times. It was her who looked more matured and posing with her children. I remembered her, but my memory scanned only our childhood faces. I wasn't sure if at all I should approach her but it felt inexplicably good to come across the face who were a part of your childhood.

We all grow, move out and continue on with our life. Nothing remains stagnant for ever and this pandemic won't be everlasting either. While we all are edgy and fidgety at this moment, let's keep calm and fight this. We have to fight both internally and calmly to remind ourselves that nothing is impossible for human kind. Yes, while fighting don't forget to show some love to people around you. It's the need of the hour...Stay safe & keep reading...

Tiffin Tales 126

 Hola...

I hope everyone is just sailing through these tough times and amidst the tough waters. The weather has changed and suddenly we miss the summer sun as autumn has kicked in. The days are getting shorter and temperatures have dipped down. The shorts and sleeveless dresses are slowly going for wash to be folded and packed for next summer. We are on the ninth month of the year and I feel the gestation period is getting over. The remedy for this pandemic will be here soon. Hold on! this isn't any information but a strong feeling that things will get better sometime soon. This is hope I feel.

Today I will share some something apart from my story. Not a story though but weaved close enough to be a story. In my childhood years there was a girl in my neighborhood who went by the name 'Seema'. She was as ordinary as you can imagine. Her parents were working and she was mostly taken care by the helper of the house under the vigilance of her grandmother. Seema led a normal life but to many children of the neighborhood she was boring. She was never interested in any games that other children of her age played. She used to sit in one corner, watch others play. In school she mostly kept to herself and was an average student. Sometimes she used to talk to others which was less though compared to the kids who used to scream when they were declared out of the game unjustified. Less talks, no enthusiasm, no hobbies cumulatively labelled her as boring. On her birthdays we all were invited but she used to show very less interest in cakes and balloons. She used to observe the other kids who were ready to pounce on her cake. A few years later they moved to a different town and we kind of forgot Seema.

We all grew up moved out in our separate journeys. In these fast paced we lost a lot of people, relations and most importantly lost track of time. Our children's birthdays forcibly makes us realize that time flow is expedited. We no longer celebrate our birthdays because planning for our children's birthdays has taken over precedence. Just before the pandemic hit us badly I happened to get in touch with of my childhood friends and in a surprisingly twist to our conversation came to know about Seema. She is happily married and her children are growing up fine. She isn't very active on social media which I guess has lot to do with her childhood nature of laziness. During my conversation I was surprised to know from my friend that Seema has grown up to be a smart and really strong woman. She takes no hogwash and ridiculousness from life and people. She stands up for all the inequity and abuse that people and life throw at her.

Seema is a school teacher and on several occasions has been ridiculed by her family members over her inability to cook well. Her mornings are usually busy and by evening her children, their studies accompanied with other chores leaves her little time to make a proper dinner or lunch.The taunts got from bad to worse and her in laws mocked that her children will never know the taste of proper home cooked meal. The fast paced generation will live on fast food because their mother runs on killing pace. When the digs got deeper Seema retorted. According to Seema her children will learn a lot of other things besides seeing their mother sweating in the kitchen trying fiercely to make them the perfect lunch or dinner.

Mothers these days juggle amidst lot of things. She can bake a cake and produce a movie. She can fly an aircraft and equally make a nutritious meal. She can share the equal responsibilities along with their father and in return their father can also turn up a nice meal. They can go on vacations because their mother can contribute. Mothers can take a selfie while tying the shoe laces. Mothers need and deserve a mini vacation, if not anywhere at least with her parents. She should not be sulking and craving to meet them. Mothers realize the importance of mental health and a happy mother leads to a happy home. Children learn the basics of life from home, family and most importantly from their mothers.

Seema's children may not be enjoying any delicacies but everyday they see their mother struggling to keep sanity in their home. They see their mother's endeavors, her sacrifices and above all a strong independent lady who knows her mind and doesn't remain captive of other people's words.

I am surprised how Seema has evolved over the years and I am equally happy that she is fighting not only for her but for her children too who loves her and most importantly respects her just like they do their father. Children are certainly learning, perhaps less from text books and more from the world around them...Thoughts????

Tiffin Tales 125

 Hola...

Happy Ganesh festival to everyone. May the Lord keep everyone safe and healthy. This is such a time when everyone celebrating this festival wears a broader smile, dances with joy and prays. This year a lot of things are muted in our lives. There is so much stress and panic all over the world. Most of us are wearing a poised look waiting for a solution to this world wide problem.

The last month for us has been good in terms of weather. Most of the days have been sunny and less rainy. The summer days couldn't have been better. In the current scheme of things we couldn't have asked for more. August is almost about to end and the days are getting shorter. We still go for short walks maintaining the safety measures. 

All schools are starting online next week and I am hoping things will start to look up for the students as of now. Children are getting restless and I am moving around like headless chicken. While it's a new and a challenging way of starting a school year yet the students look excited. My toddler is still clueless though with everyone at home she feels its an unending vacation she is savoring.

This morning I have been majorly missing my home and my parents. There are days when nothing seem to convince you even knowing the situations are unfavorable. I feel like going to them even if its just for a few days. The wait seems ceaseless. Looking at the sky and looking at the cargo plane made feel like flying immediately. I wish I could board that plane and just fly to them. I kept gazing at the plane till it flew out of my vision. My vision isn't great though. I do eat vegetables.....

My elder one drew a plane and gifted me. He said, mom you cannot board it but close your eyes, and you can fly with it. His words cheered me up and I did follow them. I flew far and wide above the mountains and oceans and deserts and reached my home. I saw my parents, hugged them, had food with them. It tasted so delectable. I said a quick hello to my neighbors too. I saw my home, the plants, the neighborhood and perhaps every corner of my home. My mother had a compound expression on her face. She was joyous and equally sad because I was leaving. She wanted to pack some goodies for us but I refused because I was flying with my wings on. There was no luggage with me. My heart was the only space which I tried to fill with memories. The wait time to meet again was reshuffled. A few minutes later I came back to my real world. The world where millions like me are waiting to meet their families. I hugged my child. In these unprecedented time these moments of dream add so much laughter and optimism in life. I thank my child today for giving me these euphoric moments which added a bit more strength to my nerves....

Take care, stay healthy...Much love to all...

Tiffin Tales 124

Hola..

Please tell me you all are doing well, at least sailing through. It's been quite a power packed week for us as we tried to fix quite a few things at home. A few mechanical things broke down, we took turns to fix them. The mixer stopped working, the vacuum cleaner got choked with innumerable lego pieces. The door handle of the bathroom came off adding to the fun. I am not quite a pro at fixing these but not a noob either. But the stress of fixing them because we are so dependent on these machineries added to more stress.

The last week was mechanically challenging and surprising that by the weekend time we almost curled up in our bed or sofa fearing any new fender-bender. The door handle was missing a tiny screw and we tried to search the entire area as though looking for a precious stone. We couldn't succeed but in that process cleaned and brushed the entire area multiple times.

We weren't exactly looking forward to any fun weekend either. We were impatiently waiting for the screw parts to arrive which we ordered online. The vacuum was choked to the maximum. It needed lot of time and patience which we spared and finally cleaned. Cleaning a vacuum cleaner for cleaning the house. Fun, huh! The mixer refused to go in circles and I had no idea why. We tried our best but couldn't figure out. Some heavenly stars might have taken pity and to our rescue we found an old mixer which just had the body without any accompaniments. We exactly needed that. The current jars fitted well and what more could we ask for. Get me some tea please!

All through out our weekend we were home, no food from outside, no movies. We tried to snuggle in one corner are praying silently for the things not to fall out of place. We cooked a bit though. The kids wanted to bake a cake and I insisted on a banana cake in order to capitalize those bananas. They were pretty good but they didn't survive the weekend though. No regrets though! I on my part made some rice dishes with vegetables and chicken.

The week started with rains and its cloudy today as well. A lot of new emotions have been added in our lives these days and putting them into words is an art which I am still learning. Let's see how this journey goes. We all are in this together. Stay safe and stay healthy....

Tiffin Tales 123

Hola...

It's Friday and we are indoors. The sun is blazing outside, the heart is screaming to go somewhere by the waterside but there are demons outside. I wish the demons would have gone on some vacation too. We could have got some respite in summer. Summers are a festival here after long winters and who doesn't want to be a part of the celebration. This year we have this unwanted guest who is spoiling our summers, derailed all our plans and bungled all our year long activities.

Let's not even talk about this guest. This week has been good for us in terms of weather. The temperatures have been on the higher side, the sun was fierce and we could not have been happier. There have been rains but no complaints about that. 

We have been celebrating birthdays of our loved ones with virtual hugs. We smiled, wished, spoke loudly and secretly shed a tear or two. We do not know about our next meet but prayed hard that we meet soon. My kids have been insisting on baking cakes/cupcakes/muffins when people on the other side of the screen hav been cutting and enjoying. Lol, thats what is childhood I feel. So I baked muffins to lift their moods, ran with them in our backyard till I got leg cramps, read with them till I fell asleep. I always look and feel sleepy though.

This weekend again we have no such plans. We might try to soak the sun a bit. No travels for us, simple rule of this summer.

What are your plans for this weekend? Lets share some ideas. 

Tiffin Tales 122

Hola...

I am visiting this space after a gap and feel like the world has changed a lot. Everyday surviving is getting more and more challenging and keeping a healthy mental health is getting all the more brute. I know barely anyone reads my lines but writing here makes me feel like standing in front of an open window. We can see and feel a lot of emotions standing in front a window but at the end it makes us feel fresh and more open to our thoughts. 

With so much going around I feel my mind has been cluttered and standing or sitting next to a window seems to be stress buster for me these days. I want to write about so many things but feel not to write about any negativities of our present world. On some days I find myself overpowered by emotions that I speak less on those days. The weather, the world affairs everything seem so very difficult to comprehend.

I am not one of those whose writings or posts or any photos garner any attention. Still I write, post my updates not to bring any big change in this world but help myself. I find writing or posting pictures therapeutic. A few words creates so much impact. These day I am randomly reading blogs of people. People write about so many incidents, thoughts and ideas leaving me alarmed as to whether my words make any sense at all. But then we all are different with different levels of perceptions. 

Over the past few weeks we together have watched or so to say binge watched, tried new recipes and tried to laugh a bit more. Laughing is one of life's blessings and in the current scenario we are too stressed for that. In my home we try to crack a joke or remember any funny incident from past which brings smile or makes us laugh. Apart from lightening the environment it adds well to the family time.

I have no idea where this virus is driving us but each day I pray for more positivity and immunity. Lol! We need both of them in equal proportions now. Its's a hot day here today and we are so happy. Nothing we do but go for walks, run till I can. I am a bad runner by the way. Once home exhausted have dinner and pray. Pray for a better tomorrow, pray for freedom and pray that we are never deprived of basic necessities. Are you praying too? Let me know incase you go through these lines...Stay safe and stay positive...

Tiffin Tales 121

Hola...

It's the sixth month of the year and by now we all have undergone and experienced so many varied levels of emotions. While another six months of the year remains most of us are yawning and waiting for this year to get over. Some of us are stressed and some are scared to the core as to what awaits us next.

Scared? But why? Is it fear of unknown or the fear of how to process that abrogating that piece of news? We all are different when it comes to facing negativity or any other complex emotion. Most of the people must have read about the news of the actor who took his life because of depression. Since yesterday I was feeling disturbed too. The actor wasn't related to me or my family in any possible way but his untimely departure has left many open ended questions. I am sure many like me are looking for answers. He looked well, acted well, earned decently, was well-informed and perceptive then why did he take such a drastic step? We all are weighted with our 'why's'. His set of questions left the earth along with him but our minds are simply drowned with so many questions. It seems he wasn't given due credit, acknowledged for his work, was sidelined and so many things that are surfacing now. He was avoided by many when he started visiting doctor for depression. Nobody to hold his hand firmly and assure him that whatever be the situation it always changes. Only if he knew, understood and hadn't succumbed. My wish along the wish of thousand other people's wish.

We all want to be loved, listened and encouraged from time to time. Feeling loved by people is a basic instinct I guess and he was no different. In this over populous world we find hard to find a trustworthy person to share our feelings. I am sure just like him there are millions out there who really want someone should calmly listen to their stories. Listening is so important and in parenting it's one of the top most. We argue, we scream, we cry, we advise but rarely listen. Having someone listen to our story is so therapeutic. 

In this world of gadgets most of our feelings are expressed through emoticons, smileys, abbreviations and you name it. Machines sense most of our needs, help us with finding the perfect gift for our loved ones. I wonder can they gauge our love for them too? The funniest thing I find people do not trust their family members with their phones. Phones keep their trusted secrets which human beings cannot. My brain still spins while I am writing this. We have replaced human touch with lots of other disposable things.

As I pray for the soul of the departed actor I am hoping that someday we all will have answers to our questions, at least of some. We all can play a little part that nobody falls prey of taking their own lives. It's a one time gift for ourselves and our parents. A parent(s) contribution in raising a child cannot be jotted down in a few lines but when people succumb to the worldly pressures parents die almost instantly too. The actor had many heights to scale, many rocky roads to walk, many milestones to celebrate but he chose a different path. Let's all respect his chosen path but synchronously chose to be more patient with the people around us. Often we ignore people who try to reach us but later regret it. I hope we all try, the least we can do... 

Tiffin Tales120

Hola...

I hope everyone is doing fine amidst all the things in life. The universe seem to be in quite a chaos now. We are all slowly getting back to our pre corona lives. Even though we are trying to make changes and emphasizing a lot on hygiene, yet there is some amount of fear in our minds. The virus has dug deep into our lives and minds.

I really don't know how to feel these days. Each day feels like a mixed bag of emotions. Its June and the only day when everyone at my home felt happy and excited was on May 31st 2020, when two humans went to International Space station first time from a private company. The feeling was so good. It felt that human beings achieved a new scale, set a new benchmark and years of hard work was meeting success. Not for a minute the virus bugged our thoughts, only kept fingers crossed and wished success. Those few moments are so far the most enjoyable and memorable for us.

Within a couple of days I was deeply saddened when I read the news of pregnant elephant who died after consuming pineapple with firecrackers. My head is still spinning thinking how low can we stoop down as humans. This pregnant elephant was just looking for food and trusted the humans. The elephant should have trusted the nature perhaps the baby elephant would have arrived by now. It's so shameful and derogatory just thinking about it. 

We all living beings have equal rights over this planet and resources provided by nature. Our skin color, race, religion should never be a hindrance in getting respect and dignity that we all deserve. The recent killing has opened up all the bottled up oppression that people have to face today and everyday. Protests have sparked off far and wide and its time we change our approach. The universe is trying to change everything or man made beliefs. The century old norms are about to change and we all have to learn to coexist.

I don't know how this weekend looks like but I have to shop a bit. My pantry needs a bit of restocking. So with masks and gloves I will have to run a bit of errands and settle for the next week. Let's just hope the coming days are peaceful so that we all can sit under the sun. Our summers are pretty short and losing one sunny day is a precious loss. All we hope is that the coming days are less stressful and more peaceful. Much love to all...

Tiffin Tales 119

Hola...

It's Memorial day weekend and we are thinking of the fallen heroes all over the world for the service of mankind and humanity. I feel we have warriors all around us. They are unsung and unheard but silently serving the community around them. The brave men and women who defy all societal norms to help others are just more than courageous.

In these corona times we have lots of warriors around us. People who are fighting for our lives and health, people who are keeping us connected, people who are working to deliver the deliverables, people who are teaching and many many others who trying to help in whatever big or small capacity. 

I like to call my kids warriors too. They are helping themselves and me at times to keep everything flowing. These little ones are oblivious to many facts of life yet they are trying in their best possible ways to keep themselves occupied, sometimes without being asked.

Back in my small home town is one such 'Pishi' (aunt) who is doing amazing things in these trying times. She is a widow and her children live in different states. She advised them not to come to her in these strenuous times. Her children regularly call her and try to take care of her. She is fully aware of the current situation yet she decided to make food packets and asked a trusted neighbor to drop them at hospitals or any government organizations where people work in shifts. She never refuses anyone whoever comes at her door step asking for any kind of help. She has been doing this for the past two months and wants to maintain that. While her children are almost freaked out thinking about the consequences she assures them that she is doing fine. Pishi wears gloves for most part of the day, wears masks when she cooks and drops the neatly packed food packet at her patio before someone comes to collect them. She has a maid who also happens to be her renter who helps her in her household but when it comes to cooking she insists on doing everything herself. She takes immense pride in cooking herself and satisfies her soul thinking that someone has eaten the food without going hungry to bed. She makes very simple food probably what she eats but she feels home cooked has extra nutrition because its cooked with love. Those of us know her have simply been amazed by her thoughts and her zeal to do something in these arduous times. Pishi is exemplary for people around us. Some of her neighbors have been motivated by her energy and devotion that they do groceries for her and drop at her door step and she helps others with those food items. Circle of life I say.

There are perhaps thousands of 'Pishi's'  around us who are trying and are contributing. Not everyone can be like her but everyone can smile, pray and share some load and together we can make a difference.

These days the schools are closed and all focus is on the lunch. My fridge has very limited vegetables but surprisingly there were a few chicken drumsticks in my freezer. Rice, chicken drumsticks and some diced carrots and peas, onions, with some minimal spices and all in a cooker. What would you call? He named it 'surprise biryani'. I couldn't be more happy. Now he is resting and let me watch something...Take rest and take care everyone...

Tiffin Tales 118

Hola...

 I was so elated about the sun shining yesterday that today we don't see the sun at all. Ironical! All last night I was apprehensive about the storm that has affected the lives in West Bengal and other adjoining areas. The storm which has been named 'Aamphan' has been really destructive and most people say that they haven't witnessed so strong and calamitous previously. The coastal areas have been the most hard hitters. Huge tress have uprooted, birds and animals have died and lot of places are presently without electricity or water. Nature is really furious, it seems.

The year of 2020 is a year of nature and the disasters that we are witnessing . It started with horrific fire emergency in Australia. Millions of animals and scores of land had been destroyed and wildlife was the worst hit. Even before the wildfire started there were news of volcano spouting lava displacing almost putting 500,000 lives of people in danger in Philippines. The Australian wildfire hadn't even settled yet when the world was gripped and still by the corona virus. The virus has been described as pandemic and the world wide spread has forced the world to close everything and sit inside our homes.

The first five months of the year has been investigating in terms of patience and survival. Each and every day we all are struggling to keep ourselves safe from the virus and yet trying to lead a 'normal' life. I don't know the new normal because we were so used to previous normal that settling with the new normal will certainly take lot of time and tons of effort.

A few of my friends and families live in and around West Bengal and since morning I have been texting them to check about their safety, the least that I can do. Nature has its own way of teaching the mankind and perhaps it's a subtle way to indicate to obey the laws of nature in order to avoid any future catastrophes.

I so want to go out for a walk now but feel too lazy to put on a pullover. I think I should and return for a cup of tea. The dinner will be late for sure...

Tiffin Tales 117

Hola...

The clouds are slowly giving way to sun. The sun is visiting us after a gap of five days and we are hoping to see him everyday. It isn't a bright sunny day yet feels good to catch a glimpse of sun every now and then.

This morning my elder one was struggling a bit to play a simple song on his guitar. It hasn't been long that he started to learn this instrument. We cannot completely say he loves it but he shows interest to play it. He is short tempered and very emotional by nature. He cannot hide his frustration or anger. I could see his frustration at his inability to master that tune. Patience still doesn't come close to him, perhaps fearing his temperament. Well, I always joke about that. He struggled for sometime and then he 'almost' gave up. I suddenly murmured that, 'you are trying your best, and success follows soon." I don't know how much he listens to me but this morning he did. He did and he triumphed. 

Words have so much magical effect on our minds and hearts especially on the kids. A simple line or a few encouraging words makes a day and perhaps frames a mind. When it comes to kids they take parents words very seriously and sometimes they get imprinted in their minds. I encourage my kids to try everything in life and think less about consequences. Trying new things opens a lot of opportunities compared to guarding them against everything. Now when I say this it doesn't mean I advise them them to do anything unhealthy, unlawful or anything abhorrent in nature. I want them to try, fail, learn and then set on a new adventure. Trying new things takes a broader horizon to look at challenges and some encouragement. I cannot say about other kids but mine are restless and are constantly looking for a change of activities. It is highly challenging and exhausting on my part but yet I feel in the process we all might end up learning something unknown.

We all need perhaps one perhaps who will never give up on us irrespective of the circumstances. One person could be just anyone who will encourage us to swim even if the tides are high. We all need one and we should try to be that one. Trying to be that one will be a bit harder because at some point we will have to let go off our ego and put some else on the priority list. To overlook their faults and happily embracing them just the way they are. 

My mind is clouded when i think how I will be able to navigate their thoughts and lives but no matter what we as parents will love them unconditionally for just the way they are and the way they want to be....

Tiffin Tales 116

Hola...

It's been pouring and pouring incessantly for the last twenty four hours. The clouds seem to get heavier with each passing hour. Looking out of the window seems to be more painful. We have been taking turns to watch the TV but somehow get spiritless after an hour or so. We all try to stretch perhaps every two 

hours to prevent the tailbone from curling. Sigh...

This weekend we tried to socialize a bit more. When the lockdown had started we all made apprehensive calls, then the calls were more about asking about well being and I feel we make calls to kill time at times. Of course the working calls aren't counted in them though. We made video calls to add extra more minutes because when we see faces it adds many more things to discuss apart from the virus and groceries.

This morning my elder one refused to have any kind of breakfast that was offered. He gently dissented that he was quite exhausted of cereals, breads, 'poha', 'upma'. I could feel his anger but I was confused too. I am also running out of options but refused to revel that to him. I tried to make something for him which eventually cheered him and thus my morning was salvaged. Okay, if you ask me, let me tell you it was nothing but my own version of pancakes. It had good amount of eggs and butter. Now promise me if you go through these lines you won't tell him. Secret! Mothers are so good with hacks you see.

After the morning storm at the table we moved to lunch. Nobody asked me anything but I was feeling lackadaisical too. The weather outside was enough to make anyone feel passive. I just pulled out some chicken from freezer, marinated it and cooked it with minimal spices but made sure it was a bit spicy. There was no complaints from anyone instead everyone went for a second round and secretly I smiled. Lunch sorted too. Sigh!

I won't be writing about dinner to bore you but yes dinner went off peacefully too. This is one of the many days when rains have been like a comatose to our lives. We have ordered our books from the library and this is the highlight of the day. My elder ones was waiting when he could get hold of a few books but surfing himself through the library books in person has to wait for a while. As of now we can just order and patiently wait for pick up notification. We aren't aware of the new rules yet. Let wait. Life is going to start in a new way soon. New set of challenges and new rules of living it. Let's hope we all adjust to it....

Tiffin Tales115

Hola...

It's another day of mixed weather and emotions here. The sun wants to shine bright but the clouds seem to over shadow the sun. The quarantine days now seem to be never ending. While we understand the significance of staying indoors, yet now we are praying hard for the hard times to end soon. We certainly have no idea but we are trying to hold on to hope as hard as we can.

Hope is just a four letter word yet gives so much strength. But it should not be confused with expectations. Expectations gives birth to many unwanted emotions in life. The most feeling it gives back is 'disappointment'. We keep expectations from so many people, situations and from the universe but more often than not we do not receive the same and run into other negative emotions. Let's try to understand (from my view point) expectations in a bit detailed manner.

1. Expectation can be like a linear equation. We dream, we plan and expect things to follow a certain route but things can follow its path resulting in pain and disappointment. We plan to go on a vacation, wear the dress we wanted or go to meet family and friends after a gap and make tons of memories. Things may or may not happen and these situations there could be subset of another set of emotions. One, we are constantly stressed to make every moment perfect or planning something with everyone that we completely miss out on the present  situation or second where things do not turn out the plan we had planned. Either ways something seems to be missing. But why? The situations didn't turn out as per our expectations.

2. We expect from everyday life too. We expect our spouses to be back home on time, expect the kids to excel in whatever they do, the dishes to turn out excellent everyday and perhaps the selfies too. These can be hard at times. There are both good and bad hair days so does everything else. We have to master the art of being kind to ourselves.

3. Expectation from people around can be certainly the most killing of all. These days the social media adds lot of belabor in our lives. The perfect dress, the perfect pose, the perfect lines and million people liking them. There is nothing perfect in this world. We expect people to discern us, love us exactly the way we want and this is a HUGE cause of disappointment in us. We trust people with our secrets, feelings and with money too and when they aren't reciprocated we feel crushed. The society expects us to grow in a certain way, achieve something, get married, have kids within a certain age bracket and raise them dynamically. Whatever big or small act we do, try to reduce the level of expectation, it certainly saves the heart.

4. As you try to curb your own expectations, try to give the same vibe to others too. Don't let people expect perfection from you. We all are fallible to circumstances so try to have a realistic approach that things can go wrong at your end too. We can have genuine reasons for not turning up at social functions, or missing the deadline at work or missing to call someone as promised. Give people the chance to figure out that things aren't smooth at your end too. 

5. Learn to prioritize your work. Works aren't just restricted within the office cubicles. We all work at different places and paces but good organizing skills helps to streamline at least a few of the things. If you feel you are overwhelmed with work, it's always prudent to seek help. Ask help from spouses, children, friends and neighbors. There will be someone who can help you to straighten things when they don't seem to.

6. Always take into consideration that plans fail, strategies mess up and life throws that curve ball. Be prepared for rains even on a sunny day and when it rains it pours too. Problems can pour from all corners hence try to keep calm.

7. Life is a journey of possibilities and expectations and emotions. While there are no specifications or any theorem to follow the basic formula remains same. Live it, face it and keep a check on our emotions and expectations.

My long post will be incomplete if I don't mention it here...My older one is expecting me to bake something and I will try now. I hope he doesn't keep his expectation too high here ;)

Tiffin Tales 114

Hola Friends...

Wishing all the mothers all over the world a very Happy Mother's Day. May you all be blessed with good health, positivity and more strength to endure all the battles that come your way. I am sure this year is a unique way to celebrate this day amidst such a world crisis. No one on this planet had perhaps ever dreamt that we would all be singing, dancing, cooking, baking, clicking, crying or missing our mothers  sitting right inside our homes.

We all have our ways to celebrate our mothers love in different ways and in different forms. I am sure most of the mothers would agree that everyday is a children's day for the mothers and many celebrate their mothers almost everyday in whatever they do. A mothers love is from heart and not from womb and it reflects in every sphere of life. A woman can be a mother to her biological child, her adopted child or even to strangers child. There is a mother in every woman and its just the circumstances which brings out the feature to the fullest.

Some are very lucky to get their mothers love till a greater part of their lives while some just yearn for that. Some live with their mothers till they depart while others count every second till they go to meet them. We are all united when it comes to missing our mothers. Such is the power of mothers in our lives that we never stop missing them and no amount of time spent with them seems enough. I feel at times life starts with mother and never ceases to end even if it be with her memories.

People like who stay away miles away from their families perhaps feel it everyday and every moment. But I count my blessings because I can still see them or talk to them. I dread that day when I will be just left with memories. The womb nurtures but mothers touch and words always soothe and heal. Only one person who will always listen to my complaints and rants without judging much and provide me with options and solutions. So how can it be just one day?

I am not into celebrating these days because I always need an excuse to get some time for myself every single. I always call my mother and try to make sure she is feeling loved and remembered every moment of the day. My kids try to make me feel special though by making a card or baking a cake with their father. We all like to be loved and understood.

There are so many things to write here but I will sign off now. May all the mothers never go through the pain of putting their children hungry to sleep. It almost burns my heart when kids cry for food and mothers feel helpless. May all mothers enjoy motherhood amidst all struggles, hardships, stigmas and shine bright in the lives of her children. May love and gratitude surround her always. My wish and my prayer as I go to sleep now. Enjoy...

Tiffin Tales 113

Hola...

The rains, the clouds, the small appearances of the sun is marking our spring as we look from our window. Today is almost 45th day of staying indoors. While we keep less track of the date but we try to hold on positivity more firmly with each passing day. The world never envisioned of something outlandish situation like this. Human beings are advised to be inside while other species can comfortably enjoy the nature. Such is the anathema of mankind on earth that peacocks are dancing again on a busy road and rivers are flowing minus the dumpsters.

This is all about corona stories. This morning I was reading about a story of a girl. It's random story about a girl through her eyes and her journey. I do not remember her name or may be it could be her pseudonym too. She says a poor girl without much talent and money cannot have real friends in life. She grew up in a very ordinary family and by luck's stroke went to a school which was high by their standards. The other kids who went to that school mostly came from financially strong families. She wasn't academically bright either. The other kids socialized and celebrated birthdays while she never really celebrated her's. She was rarely invited to those parties and no one remembered her birthday too. However she had two friends who used to check with her from time to time. Her house never had too many visits from her friends too. School days passed while she wished for some many things which was so normal for her peers. She walked from her school while other kids waved her from their vehicles. They enjoyed ice cream on summer days but she used to politely put down request when offered. She never threw tantrums at home fearing that her parents would be hurt. She was mostly cornered in discussions because she was not cool in any sense. But she never protested, hid tears and sailed through her school life.

Luck chased wherever she went. All along her educational life she came across many students who liked her, spoke to her but never got too close to her. She couldn't throw any ice cream or pizza party or carry any personal phones to stay in touch either. Affording makeups was bulky on the pockets for her and visiting salons was restricted only for special occasions because her parents asked her so. So her life style choices was funneled down and so was her topic of talks with her peers. When you do not have too many common choices its unmistakeable that people will be just courteous to you. She never complained to anyone. Oh yes, she says she never had any male attention either. Perhaps there were but no one thought of dating her, may be...

Years later when all of her peers have settled in their lives she still reminisces them. These days, courtesy social media it's possible to catch a glimpse of her peer's lives but most of them do not respond to her wishes and pleasantries. She feels again cornered too. They hold important job titles while she is happily settled in her life minus a job. They still ignore her and she is hurt but feels they all were a part of her childhood. Her level of excitement to talk or stay in touch is never matched by her batch mates.

This girl has questioned about friendship rules. Now that when her daughter is growing up she wants to advise her. It is indisputable that some people will always hurt but that should not be a sign of not forming friendship. She has made peace with her life and circumstances. She doesn't feel attached to her friends anymore barring one or two. She juggles between her childhood and her daughter's childhood. She can afford a lot more materialistic things for her daughter which were amiss from her childhood but things are never any parameters for making friends. She repeatedly questions "is having wealth a sign of being a happy friend?'

We all know or have a few friends in our lives that have stood by us through all seasons and weathers and some are fortunate to have them life long. In this fast paced life we all get tied up by various circumstances and it's those few friends who silently walk with us even though we cannot talk or meet frequently.

This story has forced me to think from many levels. How will I manage my kids or explain the consequences if left with not too many friends? Are all friends real? How to distinguish or will time teach them? I am scratching my mind...If you have any pointers, feel free to share.

Till then stay indoors and stay safe....

Tiffin Tales 112

I want to sleep but cannot sleep. I want my dreams to be pleasant but they are not. I want to plan a lot of things but unable to do. I want to write but my words are curling up. I am confused but do not know the exact reason(s). I want to order stuff online but do not get any delivery window open.

As I write these lines I am simultaneously surfing through the websites as to who can deliver my groceries. I do not want to go shopping but don't know how long can I manage without stepping out. I am not sure what these feelings mean but it always feels good to toss the words and dish out to complete strangers.

The weather has been deceitful too. It looks sunny outside but out there its windy and cold. The sunny day still stops me from stepping outside even I though all I want is to take a simple stroll.

It's so easy to complain as I did now but the frontline workers at this moment do not even have time to sit think and complain perhaps. They are working and perhaps overworking and do not get adequate time with their families either. How selfish of me to think of my problems when they are thinking about the masses!

I try to keep my mind at peace by constantly thinking that its's also a phase and we have to sail through. We have to engage our minds which gets challenging at times. So many thoughts keep creeping up time and again and keeping them at bay is a protest in itself.

This morning I tried to meditate. Please trust me when I say it really helps. The thoughts of the welfare of my loved ones who are so far from me disturbs a lot. Meditation didn't answer my fears but calmed my senses to an extent. The day seemed a bit productive too. I chatted with some old friends, cleaned some of the mess which the kids make and I was ignoring from the last few days.

So I am hoping that going forward I will try to meditate everyday for sometime. It will be 'me' time which will lull my thoughts to an extent and answer the unanswered. Try it if you haven't so far. They will be the best moments when you are home and can dedicate time guilt free.