The Things They Say No

It was one of those fall days when the sun seemed more like a visitor than a resident.

It appeared for a little while, quietly warmed the rooms, and then disappeared behind the clouds. Outside, the leaves were falling rapidly. Some drifted gently to the ground. Others were carried away by the wind before they even had a chance to settle.

I stood by the window watching them and found myself thinking about rejection.

At this juncture of my life, I have faced quite a few of them, some came at work. Some came when I was trying to build something new, while some arrived when I was hoping for an opportunity, a change, an acceptance, or simply a different outcome than the one life had handed me.

Some rejections I processed well. I shrugged, told myself, It wasn't meant for me, and moved on while others stayed.

They sat quietly somewhere in the back of my mind, resurfacing at unexpected moments. Sometimes a rejection has very little to do with the actual event. It touches something deeper, the question of whether we are good enough, whether we are still relevant, whether we missed our moment.

Perhaps that is what has been bothering me lately, not the word no itself.

But everything I have attached to it. I looked outside again.

The trees didn't seem embarrassed about losing their leaves. They weren't trying to hold on to every one of them. They weren't questioning why some leaves stayed longer than others. They simply let them fall.

Maybe there is a lesson there, not everything that leaves us is a loss. Not every closed door is a verdict and not every rejection is a reflection of our worth.

Sometimes it is simply life changing direction.

I don't know if I have completely learned that yet. Perhaps I am still processing some of the rejections I have collected along the way but today, watching the leaves fall, I felt a little lighter.

Maybe I don't have to understand every no. Maybe I just have to keep standing.

Like the trees. Quietly, patiently, waiting for the next season.

Tanushree

Sarees, sweets and October

Hope you all are doing well.

My account wasn’t working for a while. Maybe I had gone on a little hiatus, unplanned, unexplained, and apparently very necessary, and in between, life happened.

We celebrated Durga Puja. Then came Lakshmi Puja. There were sarees, lots of them. Sweets, far too many to count. Cultural programs, familiar faces, endless conversations, catching up with people we hadn’t seen in a while, and those little moments that somehow make you feel connected to a place that is thousands of miles away.

For a few days, life felt wonderfully full.

There is something about Puja that is difficult to explain if you didn’t grow up with it. It is not just a festival. It is a rhythm, a feeling. A memory that comes back every year, no matter how far away you are.

There are the sarees, of course. The elaborate ones you carefully choose, wear for a few hours, and then wonder when you will ever get another opportunity to wear again. There are sweets that mysteriously multiply. There is food everywhere. There are people asking, “Kemon acho?” and somehow the answer becomes a twenty-minute conversation.

There is music, laughter, photographs, and the inevitable promise that we must all meet again soon and then suddenly, Puja is over.

The decorations come down. The sarees go back into the closet. The last piece of mishti disappears from the refrigerator and you realize you have completely forgotten what day it is.

It took me two full days to get back to our routine, and before you accuse me of becoming too relaxed, let me clarify we did not actually miss work or school. Drum rolls, please.

Somehow, despite all the festivities, late nights, dressing up, socializing, eating, and general Puja chaos, everyone still showed up where they were supposed to.

But mentally? We needed two business days and now it is the end of October.

How did that happen?

The leaves outside have changed colors almost overnight. The greens have turned into gold, orange, red, and brown. And just when they become impossibly beautiful, they begin falling rapidly, almost as if they are in a hurry to leave.

I find myself standing by the window sometimes, watching them fall.

Maybe that is what I love most about October. It reminds you that beauty does not always stay.

The trees don't hold on to their leaves forever. They let them go when the season changes.

Perhaps we can learn something from that. Some seasons are meant for celebration. Some are meant for slowing down. Some are meant for holding close to family, friends, traditions, sarees, sweets, music, and memories and some seasons simply ask us to let go.

For now, I am grateful that we got to celebrate.

Grateful for the laughter, the food, the beautiful clothes, the cultural programs, and all the catching up.

Also grateful that, after two days of recovering from our very responsible festive hiatus, we eventually found our way back to routine.

Although, looking at these falling leaves, I have a feeling October isn't quite finished with us yet.

Tanushree

The Address Changes, Not the Memories

Some days, all you can think about is your childhood home.

You can be busy, surrounded by people, finishing a hundred little things, and yet somewhere in the background, your mind keeps wandering back to that one place.

Today was one of those days. I still don't completely understand why, as women, we are expected to leave the home we grew up in and create another one somewhere else. We learn to pack our belongings, change our address, build new routines, make new memories and somehow, we are expected to leave the old home behind.

But how do you leave behind a place that has shaped you? An address can change, memories don't.

I think of the rooms I once knew without thinking. The familiar corners. The sounds that belonged only to that house. The ordinary mornings that meant nothing then but feel priceless now.

Perhaps that is the strange cruelty of growing up. We don't realize we are living inside our happiest memories until they become memories.

Today was a warm October Monday. Outside, the trees were slowly beginning to surrender their leaves. Yet in the afternoon sun, they still seemed to shine, almost as if refusing to accept that another season was changing.

Maybe that is what we do too. We change because life asks us to. We move, we build, we adapt, we become someone else's wife, someone's mother, someone's friend. We create a home of our own and fill it with new stories. Yet, somewhere inside us, the little girl who once belonged completely to another home remains. Today, she was missing her house.

Lunch was simple, mixed dal and a dry curry. Nothing extraordinary. I ate quietly, thinking about how many meals must have been eaten in that old home, how many conversations must have happened around that table, how many ordinary days once passed without anyone knowing they would someday become precious.

Maybe home is not a place we lose. Maybe it is a place we carry.

The address changes, the memories don't.

Tanushree

When She comes Home

Subho Mahalaya to everyone.

May her homecoming bring prosperity, peace, good health, and positivity into all our lives. May good triumph over evil, and may we find a little more hope in the days ahead.

In Bengal, we wait for her homecoming all year.

For us, Goddess Durga is not only the divine mother who comes to destroy evil. She is also a daughter coming home to her parents. For those few precious days, we imagine her arriving with her children, leaving behind the grandeur of the heavens and returning to where she belongs.

Maybe that is why her arrival feels so personal. We wait for her as though we have been waiting for a daughter, a sister, a friend.

We believe that when she comes, she doesn't simply bless our homes. She listens.

She listens to our stories, our worries, our little disappointments, the things we couldn't say to anyone else. She wipes our tears without asking too many questions. And somehow, when she is around, our complaints seem smaller.

For those few days, we almost forget everything that went wrong. Perhaps that is the greatest magic of Durga Puja.

It isn't only the lights, the beautiful clothes, the food, the music, or the celebrations. It is the feeling that someone we have been waiting for has finally come home.

And we wait for her again the moment she leaves.

For everyone celebrating Navratri, may these next nine days bring happiness, devotion, laughter, family, and beautiful memories. For those fasting, may your days be peaceful and your hearts light.

Today was a busy Saturday for me, lots of running around, a birthday lunch, and admittedly ate quite a lot of food!

Now, as the evening settles in, I am simply grateful.

Grateful for another Mahalaya. Grateful for traditions that travel across distances and grateful for the comforting belief that somewhere, somehow, Ma is coming home.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone and may her presence bring warmth into every home.

Tanushree

The Mahalaya Morning

Tomorrow is Mahalaya.

In a couple of hours from now, people in my hometown will slowly wake up, reach for their radios or more likely, their phones these days and listen to the familiar chants that have announced the arrival of Durga Puja for generations.

Mahalaya is the sacred beginning of the Durga Puja season. It marks the invocation of Goddess Durga and the beginning of Devipaksha, the auspicious period leading up to her arrival. For Bengalis, however, Mahalaya has always been more than a religious occasion. It is a feeling a sound, a morning that somehow lives in memory.

When I was growing up, there were no smart speakers, phones, or headphones. There was one radio and somehow, that one radio brought everyone together.

We would wake up early and listen to Birendra Krishna Bhadra's voice as Mahishasura Mardini filled the room. His voice was so powerful, so beautiful, that as a child I almost believed the Goddess had truly descended to earth and would soon knock on our door.

Those mornings were wonderfully ordinary. Nothing fancy happened.

We listened together. If the weather allowed, we went for a short walk afterward. Then came a warm breakfast, eaten without hurry, while the morning slowly became brighter. That was it and perhaps that was everything.

Today, we can listen to Mahishasura Mardini whenever we want. We have phones, speakers, recordings, and every convenience imaginable. Yet something feels different.

Maybe it isn't Mahalaya that has changed or maybe we have.

I miss those mornings. I miss the radio. I miss the sleepy voices, the shared space, the walks, the simple breakfast, and the feeling that everyone was experiencing the same moment together.

Perhaps what I miss most isn't the past itself, I miss the warmth of it.

Times change. Traditions find new ways to live and Mahalaya will still arrive tomorrow, carrying with it the same ancient call.

I just wish, for one morning, time would slow down enough for us to hear it together again.

Tanushree

The Smell of Fresh linen

Some days arrive quietly, looking no different from any other day, and yet somehow they stay with you for a lifetime.

We forget what someone was wearing that day. We forget the weather, the words spoken around the dinner table, even the little details of the place where it happened. But somehow, the feeling remains. The vibe stays somewhere deep inside us, long after the people have left and the moment has disappeared.

The same is true of people who leave us drained. Their faces may fade, their voices become distant, but the heaviness they left behind can linger. Perhaps that is how life teaches us through people, through moments, through days we wish we could forget and days we desperately want to remember.

Today was one of those days.

I realized, once again, that no matter how much I do, sometimes it still feels like something falls short. Perhaps that is simply life. Perhaps there will always be something unfinished, something that could have been better.

But I also know this about myself: I don't give up.

I keep walking. Slowly, sometimes uncertainly, but every day I try to give my best.

Outside, it was a beautiful fall day. The sun was warm, the sky was bright, and the trees seemed to be quietly celebrating the season.

I dropped our blankets at the laundromat to be cleaned. When I brought them home later, the house filled with the smell of fresh linen.

For some reason, it felt sacred. I imagined the Goddess coming home.

I don't know what the Goddess smells like. Perhaps no one really does. But if she ever walked through my door, I think she would like this smell, the softness of freshly washed blankets, the clean quietness of home, the feeling that everything has been gently renewed.

Lunch was fish curry. Dinner was bhindi ki sabzi.

Nothing extraordinary, and yet, perhaps that is the extraordinary part.

A difficult day, a beautiful sky, clean blankets, simple food and the quiet realization that I am still here, still walking, still trying.

Maybe sometimes, that is enough. What do you think?

Tanushree

The Cup of Tea in Between

The day began before the alarm, the way most of days do.

There was work to finish and children who needed to be in different places at different times. She drove, dropped off, drove back, and picked up again, before the working hours started. Between meetings and school gates, she made breakfast, packed lunch, and somewhere in the afternoon began thinking about dinner.

Today her legs ached. Yesterday it was her head. Some days she forgot something important, a form, a call, a name, and felt the small sting of it. But she had learned not to let one forgotten thing become a verdict on the whole day.

Because every day, in the middle of everything, she found ten quiet minutes for tea.

Sometimes it was green, pale and clean, the kind that made her feel rejuvenated. Sometimes it was flavored, a little cinnamon or orange, or a small candle. She held the cup in both hands, let the steam touch her face, and breathed.

In those ten minutes, nobody needed anything from her.

Then dinner came, loud and warm. Plates clinked, someone told a school story, someone laughed with their mouth full. She watched them and felt a quiet gratitude rise, not because life was easy, but because it was hers.

Later, in the stillness, she thought about how ordinary it all looked from the outside. Drop-offs. Dishes. Deadlines.

But she knew better. Every ordinary day was a page, and every cup of tea was a comma, a small pause that let the next sentence breathe.

She wasn't waiting for her story to begin.

She was already writing it, one mundane, beautiful day at a time. Its me and I will continue tomorrow with another story.

Tanushree

A Day That Smelled Like Pujo

The morning came in softer than yesterday. The weather has started to change and fast. There's a new crispness in the air, and the light has turned that soft yellow, I feel.

Whenever the sun slips through the window now, my heart does a little jump. I know why. In a few months it will start hiding behind grey skies, and I'll be counting the days until it returns. So I stood a moment longer at the window today and let it warm my face. Some joys deserve to be noticed on purpose.

The younger one had extra classes today, so I packed a few more snacks than usual. A little more in the box always feels like a little more love. I zipped the bag, said "Eat properly, okay?" and watched the door close behind her. Then the house went quiet, the good kind of quiet, with room to get things done.

Maa Durga will be here soon, and the house knows it. I changed every bed sheet, ran load after load of laundry, and cleaned whatever corners I could reach. There's something about the days before Pujo that makes you want everything fresh, as if the goddess herself might drop in and inspect the linen.

Lunch was simple: mixed subzi and a bowl of warm dal. It wasn't fancy, but it was exactly right. I sat down only after everything else was finished, and the first spoonful tasted like home.

By afternoon the laundry smelled of sunshine, the rooms felt lighter, and the day felt full without being heavy.

She's almost here. I can feel it.

Maa aschchen.

Tanushree

Hello wonderful people,

I hope you're all doing well, flourishing, healing, and marching on in this journey of life. It's been so long since I visited this space. I've missed it, and I often thought I should just write five lines, but time kept beating me and the days kept running away.

The truth is, I haven't stopped writing. I've been writing here and there, in notes, in drafts, in bits and pieces that never made it to this page. But I want to come back to this space, and this time in a way that's actually doable for me.

Since I don't have the time for video blogs, I'm going to share small snippets from my daily life instead: a thought, a moment, a photo, a few lines. Nothing polished or perfect, just real and regular.

And what better time to return than now? Bengali Durga Pujo is almost here. The air has already started to change. There's that gold in the afternoon light, the shiuli on the ground, and a feeling in the chest that I can never fully explain but every Bengali knows. The dhaak is somewhere in the distance, getting closer.

So if you'd like to walk through these days with me, the pandal moments, the food, the memories, and all the small things in between, stay close. I'm happy to be back.

'Maa aschchen' 🌺

With love,
Tanushree

Tiffin Tales 131

 

Bonjour Spring

We all expressed our love in the month of February and now it's time we move to the lovely weather of Spring. The season of spring is almost here and most of us are bursting with ideas of travel and gardening. Ever wondered what's so special about the spring season? Spring brings hope, inspires us and makes us believe that we can still fulfill those unfulfilled promises. The return of leaves, the blooming tulips and daffodils are all nature’s cues that we have crossed the long, dark winter nights. The days are longer, the sun rays are warmer and nature looks ready to burst out with colors. It all looks splendid.

A lot of people will agree that longer daylight hours to an extent is sure a mood uplifter. It helps with better concentration and zeal to achieve the day's goals. In countries like India there is a festival called ‘Holi’ which marks the beginning of spring. People play with dry colors to soak in the sun and celebrate the season.

When we think of spring we think of love which isn’t just about two individuals. True love starts with a little self care. Many times while racing against the clock we tend to forget ourselves or pay very little attention to our bodies.

True love begins with self care and self love. Self care is never selfish. If you love yourself and you are at peace, only then you can start loving people and accepting your situations more comfortably.

We had a life before Covid 19 hit us in different ways. We found different ways to fight it and deal with it. Life certainly has thrown giant balls of stress in these covid times which is why we all have been fighting extra hard to keep it at bay. In the process to keep our thoughts and spirits uplifted, we all have been practicing old hobbies or taking up new, learnt new craft, baked new dishes or better learnt a new language. We all struggled to keep ourselves engaged and active.

The tides are certainly getting calmer. We are slowly but certainly marching to our pre covid lives. Even though it's early to completely let our guards down yet we all cheer ourselves that we have made it so far. We all have made many lifestyle changes during these times and we should certainly hold on to the ones which kept us safe and healthy.

Let’s start with a basic few reminders which should be on our list every day. Inspiration anyone?

Exercise- Love your body. Never be conscience stricken about your body. Our bodies, especially female bodies undergo lots of hormonal and childbirth changes. Accept those changes gracefully and work towards overall fitness. The overall goal for anybody is to be healthy and build better immunity. Start with any low impact exercise and gradually move towards anything challenging. Start simple. So just grab your water bottle, a mat if you want to start with yoga, or put on your exercise shoes. Yes, don't forget to turn on your favorite music. It certainly adds extra punch to your workouts.

Healthy eating- We love to eat and indulge occasionally. Healthy eating hugely impacts our bodies. Try to satiate your cheesecake cravings by having a single piece. Never deprive your yearning but

portion control certainly helps to stay within the boundaries. Add more fruits and vegetables to your palette. After all, with summer coming up, who doesn't want to look great in that little black dress or a pair of shorts.

Water- Water, water and more water. Ditch those cans or bottles and stay focussed on water. Boring, you bet! Add some lemon or mint or strawberry. Okay we know you have lots of ideas to make that glass of water interesting. So just start. Water not only just hydrates your body but does tons of other chores for our bodies. Well, after all those harmful toxins are flushed out of bodies, you will love that soft glow on your skin. Smiling already, so just start right away!

Sleep- At some point in our lives we all wanted to throw that alarm clock away because we wanted some extra sleep. We wanted to steal those extra minutes before rubbing our eyes to open wide and start our day. Sleep deprivation is like refusing food to our brains. Our brains need it in the right amount to function effectively which is why it makes it extremely important to sleep well. Plan your time well. Let your favorite shows or movies wait a little longer while you catch up with your sleep. A good sleep helps to fight stress a lot better than just brooding over it.

Stress- Stress is synonymous with each of us these days. While stressing, try to stress less. Well, easier said than done but stress has huge impacts on our bodies. The heart is one of its worst victims. Try to manage stress with meditation by stealing a few minutes each day. Change will be noticeable, guaranteed!

Baking- Love cake? We all do. We do not need birthdays to bake or eat a cake. Try baking, it's very therapeutic and your family members will simply love and appreciate your effort as they dig into each slice.

Vacation- It’s spring! No need to pack those heavy jackets to keep you warm when you are on your vacation. We all need a small break from our lives from time to time and hit a new road. You need not fly all the time. Pack some healthy snacks, your favorite clothes and zoooom to some countryside location. Soak the sun and it will leave you rejuvenated.

Gardening- Most of us love flowers but do not have enough space to keep enough plants in our balcony or patio. Winters can be quite harsh for the plants too. It's spring and perfect time to plant those seeds which will bloom perfectly by the time summer sets in. Gardening can be a big stressbuster and the end result of gardening will be purely joy.

Sport- Adding a sport to your life is a great way to keep yourselves fit. Any kind of sport takes away all the negativity and dullness from bodies and minds. Just make sure to keep yourselves hydrated whenever you are playing any sport.

These are a few elementary self care ideas which we feel will make you feel enlivened and reinvigorated. Enjoy the season and catch you in summer!

Tiffin Tales 130

 Hola...

I am here after a little over a month. The weather has changed here for sure. It's early spring even though we do experience bouts of cold days every other day. A few birds can be spotted which is a positive spring sign, I guess. February was all about snow and more snow. 

I wrote a short story in the month of February which I haven't published here. Incase you get curious let me know, I will share here. It feels good when you write something and it gets published in your community magazine. A few people go through it and get back to you with some encouraging words. So the month of February was uniform to me.

March for me is all about spring, birds chirping, green new leaves, spring cleaning and of course putting the heavy duty jackets to rest for a while. The lighter ones take the prime spot. Even though not all trees get new leaves yet they do show signs of spring which is so stimulating. Spring cleaning, I have renamed it as March madness. The snow boots, the heavy jackets and comforters and all other winter accessories get a quick spin in the washer or the sun. I try to replace my bed sheets with the floral ones to revive my freshness of mind. Very soon the tulips will be out in the garden and floral sections of the stores.

Did I mention I recently tried my hand on banana bread? My Bengali family has more than one sweet tooth and we binge on different sweet items every so often. I am conservative with sweets but do enjoy making them. The banana bread was all good except for the sizing. I didn't have a proper bread baking pan and instead used an aluminum foil pan for that. My younger one was certain that it was a cake. It took some art skill to cut it into a rectangular shape of a bread and serve them. I triumphed the taste but failed to convince the little one to call it a bread. Well a few more attempts will surely follow soon.

It's been close to a year that the pandemic gyrated our lives. Slowly we all have adapted our lifestyles to the new norms and following it. The journey hasn't been easy for anyone of us and we all are still battling it every single day. Here's hoping that the new weather brings more positivity in our lives. May we continue to grow and shine in our respective areas. Happy reading!

Tiffin Tales 129

 Hola...

This is the first post of 2021 so let's be good and hopeful. The ramifications of the previous year are still continuing and might as well occupy a major part of this year as well.

Masks, sanitizers and distancing are perhaps the most used and memorized words of the year. I can miss a heartbeat but not masks. 

Speaking of masks we all wear masks of different kinds. To stay away from germs, to hide ourselves from some people and situations, to run away, to conceal our emotions and so on and on. But the outward shield is currently very important.

It's winters here and most of us home. Work from home, working for home but all in home. The house looks like some kind of pandemonium.We clean less and make it messy more. Messy as in with toys and books. Netflix is our best companion and delivery guys are best friends.The cars need less fuel and electricity and water bills have increased. Oh yes, not to forget the fridge which are always loaded but we always look and feel hungry. The dishwashers are working overtime and perhaps looking for a quick break as well.

Last year we celebrated all our festivals, birthdays and all other occasions at home with people participating virtually. This year let's hope we can meet our families, hug them, share food and laugh together.

The year of 2020 has been harsh on each one of us. We singed, painted, danced, baked learnt something new to keep ourselves going. We are still struggling but let's pray the sun shines soon.

Till then take it easy for no time lasts forever. The clouds shall pass too. Till then smile and keep moving. Stay safe and good wishes to all.

Tiffin Tales 128

 Hola...

I am back after a small interval.The month of October is usually a busy month owing to multiple festivals and the aura surrounding it...We are Bengali's and we celebrate Durga Puja which mostly falls in the month of October. Hence October just flies in a flash.

This year it was a different experience to celebrate this festival remotely. Durga Puja follows age old customs and it involves quite a few rituals over three day long festivity. It is quite challenging to condense so many rituals and perform taking alternate route. We all are currently living in a strange world right now and gradually we are evolving in this new way of living. 

I am sure the Goddess doesn't distress over the fact as to how we worship her. It can be remotely, publicly, privately or if nothing happily. She needs undivided devotion, faith and would care less how and where we offer her. While rituals binds us together, faith keeps us going. I am sure this year we have prayed extra hard to get rid of this virus surrounding us.

This year, there were restricted temple visits, no new clothes, marginal photos and bounded food menu. Bengali's indulge on food especially sweets during this time of the year but this year it was controlled and contained...We made ourselves and had them all by ourselves. Growing up we always exchanged food amongst our neighbors and even relatives visiting us would carry any food item especially sweets. The aftertaste of sweets weren't sweet this year. Families couldn't reunite which is one of the biggest highlight of any festival. Sweets, sari, food everything wore a forlorn look. 

The end of the coming week marks another festival Diwali. We all like to illuminate our homes and hearts with lights. This festival has so much warmth that it can instantly brighten up anyones mind. While we gear up to light our homes, let pray for the ones who wont be able to celebrate owing difficult times and situations. May the glow and warmth of this festival eradicate the virus from our lives and minds and bring the smile back. Enjoy the festival with sweets and savories without forgetting the world around us. Its a painful world but lets add more smile and sensitivity. Happy Diwali!

Tiffin Tales 127

 Hola...

It's a crispy autumn day. The sun is shining mild and modest and gentle winds are kind of breathing heavily at times. Amidst all the pandemic fears the weather is changing and festive season is also around. It's completely optional if we choose to celebrate or not but nothing stops the cycle of life and culling our options are nothing less than rigorous. We all love our festivals. 

A few days back on social media I stumbled upon my long lost friend whom I feel I had met many moons back. We weren't exactly friends but somehow we were attached. We went to different schools but same grade. We weren't neighbors or friends but knew each other well enough to rescue the other  in case of any emergency. We knew each other houses but never visited. We always smiled and spoke sporadically but there was no deep friendship although we had a few mutual friends. Life was moving at same pace until teenage years threw a couple of friends off the radar.

I remember that evening. After school hours we returned home and followed the same conventional itinerary.When me along with a few of my neighborhood friends went for our playtime or some walking we could see many women talking something in whispers. The discussion seemed intense and intriguing both at same time. A few steps ahead we could gauge the severity of the topic. We raised our bunny ears and after lot of coaxing came to know that my friend had apparently eloped with his boyfriend. We were dumbstruck and found ourselves cold to respond to the news. Her mother was crying and her father seemed upset as he was talking to people around asking for ideas as to how to handle the situation. This was a topic of discussion over the next few days in our neighborhood and in school recess times and any free time we could have. A week later she was traced down by her family and her father convinced her to return to her family. A few of our friends family went to meet her but we didn't. I did see her after that but didn't know how or what to talk or enquire about. People stalked and stared her wherever she went. One could see her eyes and tell that she and her family members were disturbed. She wanted a regular life which seemed preposterous at that moment. 

Society can be both giving and unforgiving at the same time. Perhaps she realized the extent of her mistake and wanted to leave all the baggage behind but people wont let her. Her family was constantly reminded of her deeds and taunts accompanied them everywhere. Her family was her support and they tried to heal her. Her father took a transfer of his job and they moved to a different state. The last time I saw her she was wearing a jeans and lilac top waiting for her father at a bus stop. They moved to a different state and we never heard about them.

Years later in these unprecedented times, social media comes to our rescue every now and then. It was during these lockdown and random looking at friends photo album I saw her name. I never assumed that it would be her but curiosity bites at times. It was her who looked more matured and posing with her children. I remembered her, but my memory scanned only our childhood faces. I wasn't sure if at all I should approach her but it felt inexplicably good to come across the face who were a part of your childhood.

We all grow, move out and continue on with our life. Nothing remains stagnant for ever and this pandemic won't be everlasting either. While we all are edgy and fidgety at this moment, let's keep calm and fight this. We have to fight both internally and calmly to remind ourselves that nothing is impossible for human kind. Yes, while fighting don't forget to show some love to people around you. It's the need of the hour...Stay safe & keep reading...

Tiffin Tales 126

 Hola...

I hope everyone is just sailing through these tough times and amidst the tough waters. The weather has changed and suddenly we miss the summer sun as autumn has kicked in. The days are getting shorter and temperatures have dipped down. The shorts and sleeveless dresses are slowly going for wash to be folded and packed for next summer. We are on the ninth month of the year and I feel the gestation period is getting over. The remedy for this pandemic will be here soon. Hold on! this isn't any information but a strong feeling that things will get better sometime soon. This is hope I feel.

Today I will share some something apart from my story. Not a story though but weaved close enough to be a story. In my childhood years there was a girl in my neighborhood who went by the name 'Seema'. She was as ordinary as you can imagine. Her parents were working and she was mostly taken care by the helper of the house under the vigilance of her grandmother. Seema led a normal life but to many children of the neighborhood she was boring. She was never interested in any games that other children of her age played. She used to sit in one corner, watch others play. In school she mostly kept to herself and was an average student. Sometimes she used to talk to others which was less though compared to the kids who used to scream when they were declared out of the game unjustified. Less talks, no enthusiasm, no hobbies cumulatively labelled her as boring. On her birthdays we all were invited but she used to show very less interest in cakes and balloons. She used to observe the other kids who were ready to pounce on her cake. A few years later they moved to a different town and we kind of forgot Seema.

We all grew up moved out in our separate journeys. In these fast paced we lost a lot of people, relations and most importantly lost track of time. Our children's birthdays forcibly makes us realize that time flow is expedited. We no longer celebrate our birthdays because planning for our children's birthdays has taken over precedence. Just before the pandemic hit us badly I happened to get in touch with of my childhood friends and in a surprisingly twist to our conversation came to know about Seema. She is happily married and her children are growing up fine. She isn't very active on social media which I guess has lot to do with her childhood nature of laziness. During my conversation I was surprised to know from my friend that Seema has grown up to be a smart and really strong woman. She takes no hogwash and ridiculousness from life and people. She stands up for all the inequity and abuse that people and life throw at her.

Seema is a school teacher and on several occasions has been ridiculed by her family members over her inability to cook well. Her mornings are usually busy and by evening her children, their studies accompanied with other chores leaves her little time to make a proper dinner or lunch.The taunts got from bad to worse and her in laws mocked that her children will never know the taste of proper home cooked meal. The fast paced generation will live on fast food because their mother runs on killing pace. When the digs got deeper Seema retorted. According to Seema her children will learn a lot of other things besides seeing their mother sweating in the kitchen trying fiercely to make them the perfect lunch or dinner.

Mothers these days juggle amidst lot of things. She can bake a cake and produce a movie. She can fly an aircraft and equally make a nutritious meal. She can share the equal responsibilities along with their father and in return their father can also turn up a nice meal. They can go on vacations because their mother can contribute. Mothers can take a selfie while tying the shoe laces. Mothers need and deserve a mini vacation, if not anywhere at least with her parents. She should not be sulking and craving to meet them. Mothers realize the importance of mental health and a happy mother leads to a happy home. Children learn the basics of life from home, family and most importantly from their mothers.

Seema's children may not be enjoying any delicacies but everyday they see their mother struggling to keep sanity in their home. They see their mother's endeavors, her sacrifices and above all a strong independent lady who knows her mind and doesn't remain captive of other people's words.

I am surprised how Seema has evolved over the years and I am equally happy that she is fighting not only for her but for her children too who loves her and most importantly respects her just like they do their father. Children are certainly learning, perhaps less from text books and more from the world around them...Thoughts????

Tiffin Tales 125

 Hola...

Happy Ganesh festival to everyone. May the Lord keep everyone safe and healthy. This is such a time when everyone celebrating this festival wears a broader smile, dances with joy and prays. This year a lot of things are muted in our lives. There is so much stress and panic all over the world. Most of us are wearing a poised look waiting for a solution to this world wide problem.

The last month for us has been good in terms of weather. Most of the days have been sunny and less rainy. The summer days couldn't have been better. In the current scheme of things we couldn't have asked for more. August is almost about to end and the days are getting shorter. We still go for short walks maintaining the safety measures. 

All schools are starting online next week and I am hoping things will start to look up for the students as of now. Children are getting restless and I am moving around like headless chicken. While it's a new and a challenging way of starting a school year yet the students look excited. My toddler is still clueless though with everyone at home she feels its an unending vacation she is savoring.

This morning I have been majorly missing my home and my parents. There are days when nothing seem to convince you even knowing the situations are unfavorable. I feel like going to them even if its just for a few days. The wait seems ceaseless. Looking at the sky and looking at the cargo plane made feel like flying immediately. I wish I could board that plane and just fly to them. I kept gazing at the plane till it flew out of my vision. My vision isn't great though. I do eat vegetables.....

My elder one drew a plane and gifted me. He said, mom you cannot board it but close your eyes, and you can fly with it. His words cheered me up and I did follow them. I flew far and wide above the mountains and oceans and deserts and reached my home. I saw my parents, hugged them, had food with them. It tasted so delectable. I said a quick hello to my neighbors too. I saw my home, the plants, the neighborhood and perhaps every corner of my home. My mother had a compound expression on her face. She was joyous and equally sad because I was leaving. She wanted to pack some goodies for us but I refused because I was flying with my wings on. There was no luggage with me. My heart was the only space which I tried to fill with memories. The wait time to meet again was reshuffled. A few minutes later I came back to my real world. The world where millions like me are waiting to meet their families. I hugged my child. In these unprecedented time these moments of dream add so much laughter and optimism in life. I thank my child today for giving me these euphoric moments which added a bit more strength to my nerves....

Take care, stay healthy...Much love to all...

Tiffin Tales 124

Hola..

Please tell me you all are doing well, at least sailing through. It's been quite a power packed week for us as we tried to fix quite a few things at home. A few mechanical things broke down, we took turns to fix them. The mixer stopped working, the vacuum cleaner got choked with innumerable lego pieces. The door handle of the bathroom came off adding to the fun. I am not quite a pro at fixing these but not a noob either. But the stress of fixing them because we are so dependent on these machineries added to more stress.

The last week was mechanically challenging and surprising that by the weekend time we almost curled up in our bed or sofa fearing any new fender-bender. The door handle was missing a tiny screw and we tried to search the entire area as though looking for a precious stone. We couldn't succeed but in that process cleaned and brushed the entire area multiple times.

We weren't exactly looking forward to any fun weekend either. We were impatiently waiting for the screw parts to arrive which we ordered online. The vacuum was choked to the maximum. It needed lot of time and patience which we spared and finally cleaned. Cleaning a vacuum cleaner for cleaning the house. Fun, huh! The mixer refused to go in circles and I had no idea why. We tried our best but couldn't figure out. Some heavenly stars might have taken pity and to our rescue we found an old mixer which just had the body without any accompaniments. We exactly needed that. The current jars fitted well and what more could we ask for. Get me some tea please!

All through out our weekend we were home, no food from outside, no movies. We tried to snuggle in one corner are praying silently for the things not to fall out of place. We cooked a bit though. The kids wanted to bake a cake and I insisted on a banana cake in order to capitalize those bananas. They were pretty good but they didn't survive the weekend though. No regrets though! I on my part made some rice dishes with vegetables and chicken.

The week started with rains and its cloudy today as well. A lot of new emotions have been added in our lives these days and putting them into words is an art which I am still learning. Let's see how this journey goes. We all are in this together. Stay safe and stay healthy....

Tiffin Tales 123

Hola...

It's Friday and we are indoors. The sun is blazing outside, the heart is screaming to go somewhere by the waterside but there are demons outside. I wish the demons would have gone on some vacation too. We could have got some respite in summer. Summers are a festival here after long winters and who doesn't want to be a part of the celebration. This year we have this unwanted guest who is spoiling our summers, derailed all our plans and bungled all our year long activities.

Let's not even talk about this guest. This week has been good for us in terms of weather. The temperatures have been on the higher side, the sun was fierce and we could not have been happier. There have been rains but no complaints about that. 

We have been celebrating birthdays of our loved ones with virtual hugs. We smiled, wished, spoke loudly and secretly shed a tear or two. We do not know about our next meet but prayed hard that we meet soon. My kids have been insisting on baking cakes/cupcakes/muffins when people on the other side of the screen hav been cutting and enjoying. Lol, thats what is childhood I feel. So I baked muffins to lift their moods, ran with them in our backyard till I got leg cramps, read with them till I fell asleep. I always look and feel sleepy though.

This weekend again we have no such plans. We might try to soak the sun a bit. No travels for us, simple rule of this summer.

What are your plans for this weekend? Lets share some ideas. 

Tiffin Tales 122

Hola...

I am visiting this space after a gap and feel like the world has changed a lot. Everyday surviving is getting more and more challenging and keeping a healthy mental health is getting all the more brute. I know barely anyone reads my lines but writing here makes me feel like standing in front of an open window. We can see and feel a lot of emotions standing in front a window but at the end it makes us feel fresh and more open to our thoughts. 

With so much going around I feel my mind has been cluttered and standing or sitting next to a window seems to be stress buster for me these days. I want to write about so many things but feel not to write about any negativities of our present world. On some days I find myself overpowered by emotions that I speak less on those days. The weather, the world affairs everything seem so very difficult to comprehend.

I am not one of those whose writings or posts or any photos garner any attention. Still I write, post my updates not to bring any big change in this world but help myself. I find writing or posting pictures therapeutic. A few words creates so much impact. These day I am randomly reading blogs of people. People write about so many incidents, thoughts and ideas leaving me alarmed as to whether my words make any sense at all. But then we all are different with different levels of perceptions. 

Over the past few weeks we together have watched or so to say binge watched, tried new recipes and tried to laugh a bit more. Laughing is one of life's blessings and in the current scenario we are too stressed for that. In my home we try to crack a joke or remember any funny incident from past which brings smile or makes us laugh. Apart from lightening the environment it adds well to the family time.

I have no idea where this virus is driving us but each day I pray for more positivity and immunity. Lol! We need both of them in equal proportions now. Its's a hot day here today and we are so happy. Nothing we do but go for walks, run till I can. I am a bad runner by the way. Once home exhausted have dinner and pray. Pray for a better tomorrow, pray for freedom and pray that we are never deprived of basic necessities. Are you praying too? Let me know incase you go through these lines...Stay safe and stay positive...

Tiffin Tales 121

Hola...

It's the sixth month of the year and by now we all have undergone and experienced so many varied levels of emotions. While another six months of the year remains most of us are yawning and waiting for this year to get over. Some of us are stressed and some are scared to the core as to what awaits us next.

Scared? But why? Is it fear of unknown or the fear of how to process that abrogating that piece of news? We all are different when it comes to facing negativity or any other complex emotion. Most of the people must have read about the news of the actor who took his life because of depression. Since yesterday I was feeling disturbed too. The actor wasn't related to me or my family in any possible way but his untimely departure has left many open ended questions. I am sure many like me are looking for answers. He looked well, acted well, earned decently, was well-informed and perceptive then why did he take such a drastic step? We all are weighted with our 'why's'. His set of questions left the earth along with him but our minds are simply drowned with so many questions. It seems he wasn't given due credit, acknowledged for his work, was sidelined and so many things that are surfacing now. He was avoided by many when he started visiting doctor for depression. Nobody to hold his hand firmly and assure him that whatever be the situation it always changes. Only if he knew, understood and hadn't succumbed. My wish along the wish of thousand other people's wish.

We all want to be loved, listened and encouraged from time to time. Feeling loved by people is a basic instinct I guess and he was no different. In this over populous world we find hard to find a trustworthy person to share our feelings. I am sure just like him there are millions out there who really want someone should calmly listen to their stories. Listening is so important and in parenting it's one of the top most. We argue, we scream, we cry, we advise but rarely listen. Having someone listen to our story is so therapeutic. 

In this world of gadgets most of our feelings are expressed through emoticons, smileys, abbreviations and you name it. Machines sense most of our needs, help us with finding the perfect gift for our loved ones. I wonder can they gauge our love for them too? The funniest thing I find people do not trust their family members with their phones. Phones keep their trusted secrets which human beings cannot. My brain still spins while I am writing this. We have replaced human touch with lots of other disposable things.

As I pray for the soul of the departed actor I am hoping that someday we all will have answers to our questions, at least of some. We all can play a little part that nobody falls prey of taking their own lives. It's a one time gift for ourselves and our parents. A parent(s) contribution in raising a child cannot be jotted down in a few lines but when people succumb to the worldly pressures parents die almost instantly too. The actor had many heights to scale, many rocky roads to walk, many milestones to celebrate but he chose a different path. Let's all respect his chosen path but synchronously chose to be more patient with the people around us. Often we ignore people who try to reach us but later regret it. I hope we all try, the least we can do...